


Eternal Flame

by WasilewskiLover



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friendship/Love, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-20 22:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4804205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WasilewskiLover/pseuds/WasilewskiLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It tells the story of two couples madly falling in love with each other. Will they both succeed with their happy ending?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Be kind, be gentle, be positive, be loving._  
_Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something._  
_Don’t change for anyone._  
_Make compromises, make efforts but don’t let them control your life._  
_From this day forward you’ll be responsible of yourself._  
_I know you’ll do great things._  
_Happy birthday Finn,_  
_Love, nan._

On that special day Finn had been reading again and again that little white piece of paper his grandmother had given him for his 18th birthday, two years earlier, and that he had been jealously keeping in his wallet for the all time. He knew that card by heart but it didn’t matter. That was the only way to keep her close, even now that she was gone.  
It had seemed weird to his friends at first, why was a young boy keeping a note from his dead grandmother in his folder but, he didn’t mind them much. Just like his nan had taught him, **people will always judge you for what you do and don’t do so, is it really worth it to put your wishes and hopes aside for them?**  
Since Rachel, his grandmother, had left Finn and his dad alone, he had always felt like a part of him had been ripped away from his chest and he hated to think that he would have never been able to fill the void again.  
His nan had been the strongest and bravest person in his life; the one person he could turn to when things got darker, the one person who could hold him and hug him like he was still the same little boy she had raised, when his mother had decided to leave both him and his dad alone to go to America with her new partner.  
She had passed away the day after he had turned 18, almost like she knew she had to leave him one last good memory of her, before the final departure. She had been admitted into the hospital four months earlier and she had insisted that Finn should have enjoyed his birthday with his friends, he should have thrown a big party, because **you only are 18 once** but he had been irremovable saying that it wouldn’t have been a birthday without his nan.  
They had had fun, they had talked and played chess, even if he wasn’t very good at it, but, Finn knew, something was about to happen.  
She had been extremely caring that day, more than usual and he had realized he was going to say goodbye to her, sooner than he had wanted to. The next morning the hospital had called to their house, communicating that Rachel Nelson had passed out after a quiet night of sleep.  
The pain had been devastating on both Finn and his dad, not only because she was family but because she was the only one who had always believed in them and their dreams and had always been supportive of her boys.  
She had lost his husband Joe when she was still quite young and had never thought about getting married again, she always used to say that **once you tie the knot, you keep faith to that commitment until the very end** and that had been what Finn wanted to have someday in his life since the first time his nan had said it. A consuming, supporting and caring love like his grandparents had had. 

A knock on the door shook him away from his thoughts. It was already 11AM and he knew his father would have not been pleased with him lazing around all day long. Even if it was, in fact, his 20th birthday.  
Finn was sitting on his bed, the card in one hand, a slice of bread with raspberry jam in the other and he had barely heard the knock when his father entered the room without even waiting for his answer.  
“What are you doing, son?”

“Nothing really. Just reading nan’s note. Again.” A shade of a smile took place on his lips but only to leave it right away. Every time Finn got to think to his nan he would find himself smiling and, just after a second, a rush of sadness would invade him without the slightest warning and it was like loosing her all over again. Since the day she had died he had hoped that, someday, somehow, he would have found a way to think peacefully about her but, that day, seemed far away.  
Gary approached his son and sat on the bed next to him, taking for a moment the note from his hand, reading it in his mind and he smiled, too, for a brief second.

“She knew her shit when she wrote, didn’t she?” Finn loved the fact that his father was more like a friend to him. He used to talk like a teenager most of the times and that had always made him the coolest dad around his friends. He had never judged him or imposed him anything, mostly because he had never felt the need to do it. Finn had always been the perfect son, despite the school, and Gary, thanks to his mother’s support, too, had always thought he would have eventually found his path.

“Yeah dad, she really did. Think she should have been a writer or something.”

“She was more of a cook, my mum. Guess you took that from her side.” He smiled at Finn, he couldn’t believe his son was becoming everything his mother had always wanted him to become. A chef. And a good one, judging by the grades he used to take at the cooking class.  
Five years earlier, Gary and his sister Maxine had opened a restaurant together, along Rachel’s suggestion. Maxine had inherited her mother’s talent and passion for cooking and Gary had studied accounting back at university so they were a pretty well matched duo. Plus, that would have been an occasion to bring the family back together, since Maxine had moved to Ireland in her early 20s and they hadn’t seen each other that much.

“Sure as hell I didn’t take it from you, you don’t even know how to prepare a fucking tea.”

“Hey there, language young man. Just because you’re 20 doesn’t mean you can go ‘round talking like a tosser.” Gary stared at his son a little longer than he was used to, just like his mum did when she was thinking about some old memory she had just recollected from her mind.  
“Twenty years. I can believe I am that old.”

“You’re not old dad, you’re just differently young.” Finn let out a laugh right after finishing talking and Gary gave him a pat on the back, not to gentle, not to heavy.  
He loved that he could have that kind of relationship with his son because he knew he would have told him anything, because he knew he could have trusted his old man.  
“Right, why did you come in here anyway?”

“I need you to go down to the restaurant to see if there are any leftovers. For lunch.” It wasn’t like the restaurant was that far away from home, he just hated that they never had anything to eat in the fridge. Why did they have a fridge in the first place if they weren’t using it? He could have cooked something for them if they had something other than a bottle of sparkling water and one egg in it.

“I could just go down to the market and cook something here instead.”

“Ehm thank you but I’d rather not die just yet.” Finn knew his father was just kidding and that he actually knew he was good and comfortable in a kitchen but he should have practiced more than what his aunt let him to. Sure, practicing in a restaurant’s kitchen was far more than what his classmates were doing but he wanted to cook every day. He loved discovering new dishes, new cultures, new spices and he would have killed to visit Italy and learn from the best chefs in the all world. 

“Come on, I’ll prepare you something easy, something like lasagne with Bolognese sauce.” He winked at his dad, perfectly knowing he could have not resisted to his favourite plate. Gary, just like Finn had predicted, was already drooling over the thought of lasagne.

“You sure you can cook that?”

“Of course, I’ll just steel nan’s recipe book for a bit. I’ll be back in a second.” Finn didn’t want to give his dad the time to reconsider letting him cook for once so, he stole the card back from his father’s hands, put it back in the wallet and flashed out of the room, getting out of the house faster than he had ever done. 

 

It was a sunny day in Birmingham, the perfect day to celebrate someone's birthday, if it hadn't been for the fact that Finn hated celebrating since his nan had died. Gary had insisted in organizing something small, just his closest friends and family but had been irremovable and he had made him promise not to throw him a surprise party, otherwise he would have freaked out in front of everyone. He used to love his birthday when he was a kid but now he excused himself by saying that he was a grown man and he didn't need a party reminding him how many years he had. The real reason was, naturally, that he hated celebrating it without his nan but, he didn't feel like his friends would have understood him.  
His best friend had insisted in doing something just the two of them but Finn knew him too well to know that he would have threw him a party with his gang of friends, so he had passed. He would have probably spent the night watching Chop and his girlfriend Izzy kissing, Archie making his way over some dude and shaking Chloe from his lap. That girl didn't really want to understand that nothing could have ever happened between them. Sure, she was pretty and usually kind but there was just something in her that didn't make Finn loose his mind. He did feel pretty bad about turning her down from time to time, when things had gotten a little out of hand but, mostly, he had felt like a gentleman, not taking advantage of a girl just because she's pretty.  
Just like his nan always used to say, **if it doesn't make your heart beat, it's not worth it.**  
There had been a time, when he was 16 years old, when he had met this girl, Lauren. He had brought her home, to meet his family and she had been the most gracious girl on the planet. At the end of the night, her father had come to pick her up and, once his nan and Finn were alone, she had asked him if he was in love with her. Finn had told her that he was 16, he didn't feel like he could know what love was but she had just said that **when it's love, you know it. If you don't, it's not love.**

As soon as he got out of the house, Finn popped in his car and got on the road the second someone, across the street, made a box roll over the driveway and Finn had to hit the brakes. He had managed to avoid the case but it was sick of that hustle that had been going on for the past month in front of his house. It had been clear that someone new was moving there but that didn't mean they could act like they own the fucking United Kingdom. 

"Fucking unbelievable!"  
Finn parked the car on the side of the road and got out, ready to have some words with the porter. He crossed the street to find a woman with her back to him, who was now probably checking that everything had been unloaded from the truck.  
"Ehi, excuse me, are you building a Windsor manor in front of my house? Because it sure as hell seems like it." The woman standing in front of Finn, didn't mind him, and kept on reading whatever she had in her hands. Finn decided to pat her on her shoulder, he wasn't going down without a fight but, once she turned around, he spotted a pair of headphones on her ears.  
That, however, hadn't been the only thing he had spotted: the woman standing there was, in fact, a girl, probably around Finn's age and she was absolutely stunning. The moment his eyes met hers he knew he had never saw someone as beautiful as her. She had long, dark hair that, thanks to her turning, were now laying on her back, leaving her bright face uncovered. She had deep, brown eyes and her lips curved in the most sweetest way. She wasn't exactly smiling right now, though. She actually seemed a little pissed.

"What?"

"I was wondering if you were building a Windsor manor around here."

"Yeah, I heard you the first time, it was a little hard not to even with my headphones on. Anyway, that's just my new place. Sorry to disappoint you, no Kate in here." There was a sarcastic tone in her voice and Finn, instead of finding it extremely irritating, found it sweet like the laugh of a little kid. She reminded him of a girl he used to play with when he was little, back in Stamford but, he couldn't say exactly why.

"Oh, right. No, I mean that's fine. What I meant was that, well, there have been some serious disturbing noises around here lately so... well, I was only asking about when do you think they'll be done, that's all."

"Should I be concerned about that? I mean that I've 'disturbed' you?"

"Well, you could pretend. It would be polite of you. I'm Finn, by the way." He held out his hand to her but she didn't take it. It almost felt like she didn't want to know him or to say sorry, for that matter. She had been so caught up in listening to some music that she hadn't even realized one of her boxes had hit the road, almost causing an accident.

"Yeah yeah, nice to meet you Marlon."

"I said it was Finn actually."

"I know, you just have the Marlon's face."

"As in Brando?"

"No, as in Picasso. Of course, as in Brando."

“I’ll get that as a compliment.” Finn wasn’t exactly the right person to define a man’s handsomeness but, from what he could recall, Marlon Brando had always been described as every woman’s dream so, he felt pretty honoured when the long haired girl called him out to have the Marlon’s face.  
The girl, on the other hand, didn’t understand why Finn was still talking to her. She had been nothing but rude, on purpose and, still, he was right there, smiling and acting like a nice guy.

“Do you need something else, Marlon?”

“Nope, that’s… that’s pretty much it. I should get going anyway, I need to prepare lunch for me and my dad. And, for my birthday party.” Finn wasn’t exactly sure on why he had brought up the fact that it was is birthday, mostly because he hated it and because there was no party to be hosted. He just felt like he needed to say something before getting away from that girl. She stared at him, quite a bit longer than she should have, probably analyzing what he had just said to her. Was he inviting her or just letting her know that, not only she had been rude through the all conversation but, mostly, she had been rude on his birthday?

“Have fun, then.” Finn was still standing there, despite the fact than the girl had already turned her back to him and put her headphones back on. He wasn’t sure about what he wanted to hear; he had only met her but he had felt something inside of him, something deep and irrational. How could he be interested in someone he had never met before and that was acting like a total dickhead around him?  
Unknowingly, he got closer to her once again and patted his hand on her shoulder to call her back. She snorted in answer, took her headphones off and turned again to face Finn, more annoyed than before.

“Look, I am trying to sort things out here, I would like to move in before college starts. What do you want?”

“You go to college? Where?”

“That is none of your business.”

“Geez, relax. It was just a question. What did I do? Trampled on your pretty flowers?” The girl looked right at her flowerbeds, just to be certain he hadn’t stumbled upon them, then returned to face him, trying to look less upset than before but without really succeeding.

“First of: these are not just flowers. And second, if you had, you wouldn’t still be here standing, trust me.”

“You have quite the attitude, has anyone ever told you that?”

“I get that all the time. So, why are you still here, Marlon?” Finn hated that he wasn’t absolutely getting along with that girl, since she was intriguing him that much but, if she was still there talking him ‘Marlon’, she couldn’t have been that angry with him. 

“Wanted to ask you if you would like to come to the party.”

“What party?”

“For my birthday. God, you never listen when people talk, do you?”

“I do… sometimes. Anyway, can I bring a plus one?” Finn’s expression was really saying everything he couldn’t have expressed with words. She had a partner, of course she had one, she was the most beautiful girl he had ever encountered but still, that news, shocked him a little. It wasn’t like he could have said no so, now that he had already invited her, he needed to be okay with her boyfriend, too.

“Sure… you can bring anyone you like.”

“I’ll think about it, then. What time?”

“Around 8 should be fine.”

“Should be? Didn’t you say there was a party?”

“Yeah… yes, there is. But people just come whenever they like. So, will you give me a name, this time?”

“It’s Rae.” Finn opened his eyes wide, not sure he had heard correctly.  
“What?”

“Did you just say… nothing, I’ll see you tonight, yeah?” Rae looked a bit confused at Finn’s words but she didn’t have the time or the want to keep the conversation going. She nodded at him as he went back to his car, started the engine and got back on his road to the market.  
He had never met another girl with his grandmother’s first name and he had always been happy about that but, now that, that girl, that particular girl, had his nan’s name, he felt happy, even excited about it. It was like that name was reserved only to great people and he had had the privilege of meeting two in his life.

All the way to the market and back he had only had her in his mind; the way she talked at him, with sassiness and lack of courtesy, should have sent him over the edge already. The way she used to briefly smile and going back to be serious in a second, even the way she used to put her headphones on was driving him crazy. How could a single person do that to someone else?  
That was the most powerful crush he had ever experienced and he should have seen her and her boyfriend every single day, in front of his house.

“Dad! I’m back! Prepare yourself for the most amazing meal of your life!” While entering his house and calling for his father, he could hear laughs from the living room. They had never had guests over, especially because the house looked like a disaster when his aunt Maxine didn’t come around to help them clean up a bit, but this time, Finn was sure someone else was there. And his dad sounded even happy, which could only mean one thing: whoever was with him was a friend but Finn could have sworn his dad didn’t have that many friends since they had moved to Birmingham. He went to put the grocery in the kitchen and followed the laughs, who brought him right to the lounge where he spotted a woman, with her husband and daughter. 

“Finn, you’re not gonna believe who’s here!” He approached his dad on the couch only to finally meet eyes with Rae, the mysterious girl he had just been talking to. As if it wasn’t enough to know that he would have met every day of his life, he had to have her in his living room, too.  
Next to her, was sitting a middle aged woman, who Finn recognized right away.

“Oh my God, you’re not… you’re Linda? From Stamford?” Finn couldn’t believe his own eyes. Back when they were still living in Stamford, he always used to play with Linda’s daughter and they weren’t exactly the best of buddies. He used to be such a pain in the ass as a kid and he could distinctly remember he used to call her names and she would do the same. They were just kids, sure, but it was hell for them to pretend to like each other, just because their parents had always been friends.  
Linda had always been like a second mum to him and he always liked when she would visit. When they had to move away, she was one of the few people he had regretted leaving behind.  
Finn got up from the couch, hugging Linda and she did the same.  
Now, one other thing, was sure: Rae was that little kid from all those years ago, that was what he felt so familiar about her: she was Linda’s child.

“God, Finn, it’s been so long, how are you? Such a grown man.”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. How are you by the way? I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“Actually, I’m kinda surprised you still remember me, you were so young when you left.”

“I could never forget you or your carrot cake.” Linda smiled shyly at him, happy that he was still the same old kind and generous boy of many years before. She had never understood why Rae and Finn never got along, although they tried their best when they were all together.

“Right, let me introduce you to my husband, Karim and you might not remember her, but this is my daughter, Rachel.” Finn introduced himself to Karim, which seemed quite the gentleman and a very kind man and then turned to face Rae.

“I do remember her… Miss Tulip, wasn’t it?” Rae blushed at the sound of those words and Finn couldn’t tell if she was happy he remembered or if she was upset because she was calling her Miss Tulip at her age. She looked him in the eyes and faked a small laugh, still pretending to like the guy.

“Yeah… and you were Mr. Grumpy, if I recall correctly. Or, perhaps, you still are?” They both tried to make it seem like they were just teasing each other but, in reality, they both remembered how much they couldn’t stand each other when they were kids.  
Finn always used to make fun of her because she used to spend every afternoon picking up flowers, especially tulips and Rae used to say that he teased her because he didn’t have the brain to understand the beauty of nature. Of course, thinking about that now that they were both grown ups, should have made them laugh but there was still the anger in Rae’s eyes.  
There was one time, in fact, that was still impressed in Rae’s memories, no matter the fact that they were 5 and 6 years old, back then: one afternoon, she had gone picking up some flowers in her backyard and Finn had called for help. No matter the fact that she hated the kid, Rae had run in his rescue. There had been a major storm the day before and she was afraid he had fallen somewhere, maybe hurt himself badly so, she had put her precious flowers in the pocket of her favourite and most elegant dress and run for him. As soon as she arrived to the rescue, it was clear that Finn was perfectly fine and she made her fall in a pond filled with mug, ruining her pretty dress and her flowers, yelling ‘they don’t seem so pretty now, do they?’  
True, he had been an asshole, but he was just a kid, she couldn’t have been that mad at him for that little accident.

“You still like each other, I see.” Linda and Gary laughed remembering their old days back in Lincolnshire but Rae and Finn where still looking at each other. In Finn’s eyes there wasn’t the slightest trace of hatred or dislike for the beautiful girl sitting in front of him but he wasn’t sure he could have said the same for her.  
“So, Finn, your father told me it’s your birthday today. I brought you a little present.” Linda pointed to a cake resting on the living room table and Finn’s eyes widened. That was probably the first birthday present he actually enjoyed having.

“How long have you known you’d be our neighbour?”

“Well, your father and I kept in touch so, when I told him I was looking for a new place, he said the house in front of yours would have been free and I jumped at the occasion. I missed my big boy.” Rae suffocated a laugh at her mum’s words and everyone noticed, especially Finn. 

“You should all come to my birthday party tonight, then.” Gary looked at his son, confused. He had been sure he wouldn’t have wanted a party for his birthday and now, there he was, inviting people over.

“Birthday party? You almost killed me last week when I brought that up.”

“Didn’t you invite me to this party like, an half-hour ago? ” Finn looked at his father first, then to Rae. He had thrown himself in a messy situation and he wasn’t sure how to get out of it so he just pretended he hadn’t heard either of them.

“Well, it’s on now so, you should come. I’ll go ring Archie and the others. You can bring your boyfriend, tulip.” Rae started fuming as soon as Finn brought that nickname up again. She hated being targeted as a girly girl and there was nothing more humiliating than being called by a flower name.

“First of, I have a first name, thank you, and second of, who said it was a boyfriend?” Finn world’s crashed. If he thought he wouldn’t have had a chance with her, because of her boyfriend, now it was absolutely positive he couldn’t have had one even if he tried at his hardest. She liked girls, and he couldn’t have been further away from being one of them. He tried not to seem shocked, because he didn’t want to give her the wrong impression but Rae saw red when he didn’t answer right away.  
“Do you have a problem with a girl liking another girl, grumpy sod?”

“No… not at all. You can bring whoever you want. Boy, girl, I really don’t mind.” He did mind but, he was in no position of saying anything else.  
He grabbed the cake and brought it in the kitchen, after thanking Linda one more time.  
He hated that Rae didn’t like him at all. He had never thought about having a girl as a friend, mostly because he had always been the kind of guy who liked girls in a romantic way but, since she was a lesbian and didn’t seem to like him at all, maybe he could have let her understand that they could have been friends.  
Sure, when they were kids they didn’t like being around each other but now, they were grown ups and they were neighbours, why shouldn’t have they tried getting along?  
He thought about getting back in the lounge and talking to her a little more but Gary joined him in the kitchen and, Finn knew, they had left.

“So, about this birthday party…”

“I know I said I didn’t want one, and I still don’t but I had invited Rae over before knowing who she was and now I have to throw one. I need to get along with her, dad.”

“Glad to hear it son but, why? She doesn’t like you.”

“Geez, thanks dad.”

“No, what I mean is that, you usually don’t try to get along with people that can’t stand you so why… oh I know… you like her, don’t you?” 

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. You son of a bitch, you do like her.” Finn laughed after hearing his dad calling him a son of a bitch, he couldn’t understand why he had the coolest dad in the world all to himself. He always knew what to say and when to say it to blow off some steam. Finn hated talking about girls with him but, he had to admit, his dad had given him good advises through years. 

“Dad, she likes girls. There’s nothing else to talk about.”

“So what? She could like boys, too.”

“Well, she sure as hell doesn’t like this one so, no point in arguing about this. Now let me get to cook your lasagne or we won’t eat today.” Finn grabbed the necessary from the fridge and started cooking. His dad didn’t bring the question up again, he knew too well his own son to know when he needed to shut up about something, he just sat in the kitchen, watching him cook.  
Finn knew his way around the kitchen and watching him doing what he liked the most was a joy. 

As they started eating, Gary couldn’t help but congratulating his son for the meal, that was on of the best lasagne he had had since his mother had died and, although he used to be a pain in the ass sometimes, he had to give his son some credit, from time to time.

“Told you I could have cooked it. It was a piece of cake.”

“Right, don’t flatter yourself that much, now.”

“I won’t, you can relax.” Unknowingly to his father, Finn had been consulting some exclusive cooking classes in Florence, Italy, and he could have took them without paying a penny. He was so good at the class he was taking up in Birmingham that he already had the grades he needed to get into the Italian class without paying the tuition to get in. All he needed was his father’s approval, a plane ticket and an apartment. Easier said than done but, Finn’s passion was worth the shot.  
“Look, dad, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“I’ve been looking online for some…”

“I’m gonna stop you right there Finn. I know you think, since we own half of a restaurant that we are rich but, we really aren’t. I can’t afford to send you over to Italy. I just can’t.”

“But you don’t have to pay for anything. With the grades I have I wouldn’t have to pay.”

“Do you have any idea how much does it costs to live in Italy? Those people are crazy, it’s too much expensive.”

“Can’t be worst than England if you ask me.”

“But I’m not, asking you so, end of discussion.” There was no point in arguing with Gary when he had already said no for the fifth time. He wanted his son to have it all but supporting him financially in another country wasn’t something he could afford at the time being and, as much as he hated saying no to him, he couldn’t throw them under a bus in order to pay his classes.  
“Anyway, you should clean up for this party. Did you call Archie?”

“Gonna go right now. Nothing else I can do here anyways, right?” Finn left the room and went upstairs calling all the friends he could think of. There were Archie and the rest of the gang, of course and, there would have been Linda and his husband, plus Rae and her girlfriend. But who else to call, to throw a sensational party for his 20es?

“Yo Finn, happy birthday.”

“Thanks mate! I need your help.”

“Uncle Archie at your service, what can I do for you?” Finn had always found it creepy when Archie called himself that way but there was no time to talk about that.

“I need you to invite some of our friends to my birthday party, tonight.” 

“Birthday party? You hate parties. And what friends? Besides the gang, you have none.”

“I know but, just call someone will ya?”

“Is there a girl involved here, mate?”

“What is it with you and my dad today? No girl involved, I just want to celebrate.”

“Yeah, right. What time, mate? Uncle Archie got this.”

“8 PM and, enough with the Uncle Archie thing, dude, it’s a bit weird.” Archie mumbled something against the receiver and then ended the conversation. Now, it was time to think about the cake and the rest of the things to serve at the party. Finn could have cooked something for sure but he hadn’t the slightest clue about what you should eat to a birthday party, that’s how much he used to go out.  
It wasn’t necessary to buy anything particular or too much expensive: snacks and beers should have been fine and they could have eaten Linda’s cake for dessert. 

“Dad, I’m going out to the market to buy something else for tonight.”

“Ask Rae to come along.”

“Why should I ask Rae to come along?”

“Because it would be polite.”

“She hasn’t exactly been polite with me, earlier.”

“Just ask her Finn, would you? She doesn’t have friends here and I thought you wanted to get along with her.” Finn knew his dad was right and it wasn’t like he didn’t want Rae around, it was pretty much the other way around.  
He went out and crossed the street, finding himself knocking at Rae’s front door.

“What are you doing here, grumpy sod?”

“I preferred Marlon if I have to be honest.” She smiled a little but got back to ‘serious Rae’ in a moment. That little smile, though, was sufficient to melt Finn’s heart. Why did she have to be that beautiful every minute of her life?

“You were looking for my mum, I presume.”

“No, I was looking for you actually.” Rae looked at Finn a bit confused and stood there, one hand and half of her body resting on the door and the other hand on the wall, as if he didn’t want to let him in for some reason.  
“I was wondering if you wanted to come with me down to the market, I need to buy some stuff for the party tonight.”

“Afraid you’re gonna loose yourself, all alone?”

“Look, I don’t know what I did to upset you but I was just trying to be polite here.” Rae knew she had crossed a line and she was about to apologize to him when Linda appeared on the door, visibly upset about the argue.

“Rae would love to come, wouldn’t you Rae?” Linda looked at her daughter, basically ordering to her to say yes with her eyes and, just like that, Rae had no choice but to accept.

“Sure, just give me a minute.” Finn nodded and went to wait for her in the car. He was sure they wouldn’t have much to talk beside old bad memories so he put on some old CD he found in the car, hoping she wouldn’t have disliked Oasis just like she disliked him.  
Rae had be honest about the minute and, just as ‘Some might say’ started playing, she met with Finn in the car and she looked almost delighted by the song.

“So, you like Oasis then?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“Right… forget I ever asked that.”

“Look, I’m sorry… I meant, yeah, I like them. I love them actually.”

“Yeah, which song do you like best?”

“This is a tough one but ‘Don’t go away’ it’s a pretty perfect song if you ask me.”

“I like that one, too. Not a mainstream girl then uh?”

“Definitely not. How about you, Marlon?”

“Might be a bit too romantic for you but, I would definitely go with ‘Wonderwall’.” They spent the all drive through the market talking about music, since it seemed like they could get along on that and they sure as hell didn’t want to argue again.  
Finn was enjoying her company just like he had thought he would and Rae seemed to enjoy his company, as well. She hadn’t thought about the old Finn once and she was starting to think that maybe she should have reconsidered him as a friend. Besides her family, she knew nobody up in Birmingham and she could have used a friendly shoulder. 

“Shit! Oh shit!”

“What is it?”

“It’s closed.”

“Well, of course it’s Sunday, what did you expect?”

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

“I thought you knew, I thought we were going to some special place which could have been open on a Sunday afternoon.”

“I guess I’ll just have to go to the restaurant.”

“Which restaurant?”

“Mine.”

“You have a restaurant?”

“Well, my dad and aunt do. Wanna go check it out?” Finn had never brought a girl to the restaurant because he had always felt like his spaces should have only remained his but, this time, with Rae, that was the only thing he wanted to do. He wanted to show her off, he wanted to introduce her to his aunt, to his friends, he wanted her in his world and the fact that she didn’t like boys didn’t seem a problem at all. He just wanted her around because she really seemed like someone he could have gotten along with. 

“Is it close by? I don’t mean to rush you but my girlfriend is on her way here.”

“Yeah, it’s close, don’t worry.” Rae nodded at him and raised the volume of the song. Wonderwall, was playing now and she felt like doing something nice for Finn, letting him listen to his favourite song at top volume and he appreciated. He loved to listen to music, sometimes he just loved to do that and nothing else. Cooking and listening to music were his favourite things in the world and once he could do them at the same time, he finally relaxed a bit.  
“So, this girlfriend of yours, how long have you two been together?”

“Two years.”

“Wow, two years, that’s a very long time. What’s she like?”

“Tall, brown hair, brown eyes, she’s funny, smart and sassy. She’s studying to be a pediatric surgeon.” Rae couldn’t stop talking about her, about all the things they used to do together back in Stamford and Finn felt like he couldn’t have competed with her even if she were a guy.  
“How ‘bout you, Marlon? Do you have a girlfriend, or boyfriend?”

“Ehm, no to either of those, but it would be a girlfriend in the case.”

“Can’t believe Marlon doesn’t have a girlfriend. I thought you had the line standing out the front door.”

“Yeah well, did you see any line earlier?”

“Thought you had a back entrance.” Finn couldn’t believe that all it took to Rae to loosen up a bit was a drive in the car. She was a real chatter and he had never found himself more comfortable about talking to a stranger. Rae had thought the exact same thing. She couldn’t believe he was the same Finn Nelson of all those years ago.

“Right, we have arrived.”

“Mae’s, uh?”

“Yeah, it was my nan’s name.”

“No, your nan’s name was Rachel, I remember her. She was always so kind to me, unlike her grandson.” Rae pocked out her tongue at Finn and he laughed, like he had never done before thinking about when he was little with his grandma.

“Yeah, well, as a child I couldn’t manage calling her Rachel or Rae so I just went with Mae and it stuck like that.”

“You must have been so cute back then.” She started laughing like a child and Finn thought there wasn’t a sound sweeter than that in the entire world. 

“Yes, I was a real charmer. Anyway, my dad thought it would have been nice and we went with that.”

“I like it, it makes you feel like you’re at home.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah, I really like it. Now, shall we go?”

“Yes, otherwise you’ll be late for… ehm, I didn’t catch the name earlier.”

“It’s Emma. Yeah. We really should get going soon.” Finn and Rae went into the restaurant and Rae loved every room of it. From the main room, to the kitchen, to the little backyard. It felt like being in some other time and the style they had chosen, wood and stone, left her speechless. Everything was just like she had always thought about a restaurant and she knew he would have brought Emma there, to celebrate their two years’ union.  
Finn loved how Rae was exploring every detail, she had always been the curious type of girl and, when she spotted her looking at the backyard, he thought he had just found the perfect excuse to keep her close.

“You know, since you’re so into flowers and that kind of stuff, you could transform this place. So that we could add some other tables on the outside.”

“That would be great but… I don’t know. I’ll think about it, yeah?”

“Sure, you know where to find me. Now, let’s go or your girlfriend will have me killed.”

“What did you get for tonight?”

“I got some pizza and some snacks my aunt prepared this morning. Apparently my dad and her were planning a surprise party after all.”

“That sounds good. Shall we go, then?” Finn nodded and she followed him outside the restaurant and into the car. The journey back to the house was quiet, they didn’t chat like they had done before and they had left the music occupy the silence they were building up. Finn had wanted to bring up some funny topic but he always felt like she was thinking to something else and Rae didn’t feel like talking at all.  
They arrived at home to find Emma, Rae’s girlfriend, standing on Rae’s front door with a big smile on her face, until she spotted Rae with Finn.  
Rae said her goodbye to Finn and got out of the car, running towards Emma, which welcomed her with not that much happiness you would expect from a girlfriend.  
They got in the house and Finn followed Rae with his eyes until she was completely taken from his sight.  
He didn’t know when or how that had happened but he already knew it would have been extremely awkward and hard to be just friends with her.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the first time since his nan had died that Finn was having a birthday party. As he had woken up that morning, he would have never believed that he would have thrown a party that same night but, meeting Rae had put everything on a different balance. Talking to her the first time that morning and then again, at his place and all the way through the market before and the restaurant later, had awakened something in him.  
He wasn’t the type who believed in ‘love at first sight’ or all that crap but, he felt like he was experimenting for the first time what his nan had always told him: **when it’s love, you know it.**  
At first, it had sounded basically ridiculous but then, after giving to it a thought or two, Finn had come to the conclusion that his grandma obviously knew something more about life than he did and he had decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.  
Then, after almost 4 years from that speech, Rae had happened: with her being sarcastic and kind of a pain in the ass at first, she had tried to send him away, but she had only drawn him closer. Then, when she had finally decided to open up a bit, he had found in her the person he didn’t know he was looking for, until she came by.  
She seemed like a breath of fresh air in a long and arid desert. 

“Earth to Nelson junior: what the fuck is happening to you today, son?” Gary had been secretly observing his son during the afternoon, while arranging for the birthday party. He had always seemed quite distant since his grandmother had died but, that day, something else was going on. Gary knew all too well that he needed to leave his son be when he was in one of those situations but, it was his birthday and Gary wanted everything to be perfect. They both deserved a little amusement and this was the perfect occasion. With Linda back into their lives, Gary had felt like he could have had again someone to rely on and having fun with and, he wanted the same for Finn. He threw a napkin at his son while they were preparing the table for the guests and Finn threw it back at him, chocking a laugh.

“Nothing is happening, I’m fine, dad.”

“Said the grumpy sod.” Finn immediately looked at his dad while he pronounced those words, the same words Rae was used to reserve him all those years ago, minus the sod part. Now that they had broth grown up, she still seemed to have the same attitude of all those years ago, the same attitude that had intrigued Finn as a child but that he had never allowed to show, and, Mr. Grumpy had just turned into the grumpy sod. 

“I don’t like birthdays, that’s all.”

“You used to love them. I still remember the house full of people… of girls. Where did that Finn go?”

“He grew up and realized there’s so much more in life than parties and girls.” Gary would have liked to add something more but he knew it wasn’t the case.  
Although Finn did seem on another planet, he had the weirdest grin on his face. He wasn’t sure if he could have said it was a smile or more of a grimace but still, it was an emotion and, Gary was quite sure Rae was the one who had put it there.  
Should have he talked about it? Should have he just shut up and wait for his son to bold up and ask her out, despite the girlfriend?  
“Is everything okay, dad?”

“Yeah, yeah, just thinking. I’m pretty confident your nan is happy and proud of you, son. For living your life and all that crap.”

“Nan isn’t proud or happy, dad. She’s dead. She can’t be anything but that.” With that, Finn went to the kitchen to grab some snacks and beers. Guests would have arrived in a few moments and he didn’t need to think about his apprehensive dad or his dead grandmother. He already had enough problems thinking about Rae and about the fact that he wasn’t going to be able to conquer her, for caring about his messed up family, too.  
He sat up on a chair and passed a hand through his hair, while wiping away a tear from his cheek with the other one. He hated that he couldn’t think about his nan without faking a smile or crying over her. He hated even more that the only time he had succeeded in talking about her with the usual care and love a nephew should have for his nan, it had happened while he had been with Rae, earlier that afternoon.  
Why did this girl had to be that perfect, just to be taken away from him, even before they could have actually had something real?  
He had wished for someone to talk to, someone to rely on, since his nan had passed away, because she had always been his confident and now that she had arrived, she couldn’t be completely his. She couldn’t be his, at all. 

“Finn, guests are arriving. You better come out here and help me out.” As soon as Gary called him, the doorbell rang and shook Finn away from his sad thoughts.  
He picked up two bags of crisps and six tins of beer and made his entrance in the lounge to find Linda and Karim talking to his dad and Rae and Emma, holding hands and looking around the house. Finn tried to hide the grimace of his face and joined his dad, after putting the food on the table.  
“Here he is, the birthday guy.” As Gary held out his hand, pointing towards his son, Linda made his way over Finn and hugged him, just like a mother would hug her own son on his birthday. Since they had moved out their home in Lincolnshire and, consequently, left Linda behind, he had always felt the absence of a maternal figure. At least until now.  
Then it was Karim’s turn, which ended in a hand shake, since they both didn’t know that much of each other.  
Rae had given him the shyest of smiles from far away and kept on looking around the house while Emma couldn’t tear her eyes from Finn’s figure. For being a lesbian, she was sure as hell looking at him with demanding eyes.  
He, naturally, didn’t mind her too much, as he was focused on looking at Rae.  
She was wearing a blue, summery, knee length dress and a pair of white snickers. She hadn’t exactly dressed to impress but she had had quite the opposite effect over Finn who was now swallowing hard while dragging his eyes up and down her figure. He didn’t mean to act like a pervert but that dress was showing all of Rae’s curves and she was stunning.  
Unlike that morning, the absence of tights let her showing a small tattoo around her left ankle. A sentence, which he couldn’t read without looking like a stalker, was interlaced with daises and it made her look even more confident of herself.  
If only he could have had her that close to…

“Rae, don’t you have a little something for Finn?” Rae turned her head to look at her mother, widening her eyes just to be sure she had understood that you don’t bring ‘a little something’ to someone who’s not your friend or boyfriend and, neither of those, was Finn’s case.  
She, then, turned to face Finn, and softly smiled at him, shaking her head, thinking once more at her mother’s words. Finn smiled back and nodded, silently giving her support and he couldn’t be sure, thanks to the dim light but, he could have sworn she had blushed a little. 

“Yeah, ehm, it’s really nothing but, you know, since you like music and all… thought you could enjoy this.” Rae stretched her arms, holding in her hands a little present, wrapped up in a silver paper. Finn widened his eyes, he couldn’t believe she had brought him a present when she clearly couldn’t stand him. 

“You really didn’t have to do that, thank you Rae.” As he took the present from her hands, his fingers touched the back of her hand and their eyes locked. It was like they were in the US and it was the fourth of July.  
She hided from his sight by watching at her feet and he avoided blushing, for the first time in his life. How was it possible that Finn ‘grumpy sod’ Nelson, was blushing because of a girl?  
He tried to think about something else, anything else, to stay sane in that awkward moment and, while unwrapping the present he thought that it had to be Linda’s idea. Rae would have never gone out, looking for a present for some stranger she used to hate in her childhood, willingly. 

“’Science & faith’? You got me a Script album? This album?”

“Well, you could at least pretend to like it. It would be polite.” Finn shook his head twice, looking again and again at the album he was now holding in his hand. Rae had no idea of what she had just done but before she could process anything, Finn hugged her, leaving everyone in the room, speechless.  
He had never been the hugging type, especially if there was someone else in the room but, that night, in that exact moment, he couldn’t have done anything else.  
Emma, who was standing next to Rae, still holding her hand since they had got in, loosened, reluctantly, the grip on her hand and let her hug him in return.

Finn hadn’t been wrong about his first impression on Rae: she really was the perfect girl. If he could have been sure he wasn’t going to sound pathetic, he would have told her the real story behind that album but, if he already knew he didn’t have a chance with her then, how could have he had one if she would have considered him as a soft at heart?  
As he threw himself over her, the contact of his fingers on her back, got him on fire. There was something about being with her, touching her, that was simply special. Perfect, even. And, as she reciprocated the hug and her arms touched his back, he felt like he could have never been that peaceful, even if he tried.  
After a few seconds, he got away, releasing her from his grip and smiled at her, which she, gladly and confusingly, returned.

“You have no idea of what you just did for me, thank you Rae. I don’t need to pretend, I love this album.”

“Oh, so you have it already? Crap, I knew I should have chosen something else.”

“No, this is perfect. It’s… well, it’s a long story but I don’t… I don’t have it, anymore. So, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Marlon.” Finn spotted a little white piece of paper, which seemed a lot like an handwritten birthday card and he blushed, again. He decided to keep quiet and read it on his own. There wasn’t probably going to be nothing more than a ‘happy birthday Finn’ or ‘happy birthday Marlon’ but still, he would have been hers and that was simply enough.  
He looked back at her, to find her looking at Emma, interlacing hands again. And he was sad again. Sad like he had never been. Sad like he only had been once.  
“I guess I never introduced you two. Finn, this is Emma, my girlfriend. Emma, this is Finn, the guy who ruined my prettiest dress.” She smiled at pocked out her tongue to him, probably unknowing that what she had just said could have set a man on fire. And Finn would have liked nothing more than to ruin her pretty dress and mess with her hair. 

“Nice to meet you, Finn.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Emma.” They shook hands and exchanged a smile but it was like they already knew they were going to be rivals. At least Finn had had that sensation.  
Emma was a good looking girl, just like Rae had described her, earlier that afternoon.  
If he didn’t have to fear her and hate her because of Rae, he would have probably tried to conquer her, in another life.  
She seemed pretty jealous of Rae and Finn certainly couldn’t blame her.  
He had repeated to himself over and over again that he couldn’t have a thing for someone who didn’t like guys but, how do you learn how to control your heart, really? 

“So, when does this party start?”

“My friends should come by in a few…” The doorbell rang as Finn was answering Emma’s question. The party was really happening.  
“… minutes.” Gary went to open the front door to find Finn’s closest friends outside.  
The gang.  
Leading the group, as always, there was Chloe, wearing a white, lace dress and a pair of black high heels. She was always trying to impress Finn no matter the fact he had told her several times, he wasn’t interested in her. Just behind her there was Finn’s best friend, Archie, with a guy at his arm. New week, new guy.  
And, last but not least, ending the gang, Izzy and Chop. They were the most solid couple Finn had ever met. Izzy had been the first one falling for the other but it had been Chop, who had declared himself first. Since three years and a half they had been together and they always seemed like the happiest couple on the planet.  
At some point, Finn would have killed to have that kind of relationship. 

As Gary welcomed them in, Chop and Archie howled in answer and Izzy and Chloe giggled a little. Finn was strangely happy to have thrown that birthday party for once. Even if it meant he’d have to watch Rae and Emma holding hands and kissing each other, all night long.  
Archie approached his friend and introduced his newest piece of meat, which this time was called Carter. Finn could have sworn he was going to make a mistake one of those days and call Archie’s new guy with the wrong name, since he had the bad habit of introducing to Finn every new guy he was dating.  
Carter seemed like a nice guy and he did try to blend in and talk to Finn a little, since he knew how important was to Archie that his best friend could approve their relationship but Finn’s eyes stayed focused all night on Rae and Emma. They seemed extremely close and Finn hated that. He hated that they were so impenetrable, so intimate.  
He even wished he was a girl. He would have literally done anything for her to like him but there was nothing he could do. Fate had brought them together for them to be nothing more than neighbors and maybe, friends. 

He excused himself with Carter for the forth time, pretending to use the loo and, opted for his bedroom. He needed to be on his own, at least just for a minute or two.  
Which quickly became twenty.  
He was afraid someone would have gone finding him, especially Chloe. Instead, Rae did.  
She gave a little knock on the door and opened it, slowly, to check on him, just to be sure he was okay but, as she spotted him, he seemed anything but okay. 

“Are we that boring, Marlon?” As she appeared and talked, Finn was caught by surprise and jumped a little, from his position, laying on the bed with his eyes closed. 

“Rae… what? No, this has nothing to do with you. It’s me. I’m just, not the partying type.”

“Why did you throw a party in the first place, then?” That was actually a good question Finn had asked himself multiple times that night but, he already knew the answer and couldn’t exactly tell her. ‘I threw a party because I wanted to have you around after talking to you for five minutes?’ He would have just sounded like a crazy person and he didn’t want that. 

“I guess, I didn’t know what I was thinking.”

“Well, you could at least trying to enjoy it. Your friends are looking for you. They all care about you, you know.”

“How would you know that? You don’t know me. I could be a psychopathic serial killer for all you know.”

“You? A serial killer? Please, you couldn’t hurt a fly if you tried.”

“I thought you hated me.”

“I was fucking five, drop it. We are both grown ups and now that we live next door, we could at least, trying and being friends.” Finn thought for a minute Linda had sent her to check on him but, then again, why would have she left Emma if she really didn’t meant to find him? She was really trying to be his friend and he was acting like a total jackass.  
She was right: childhood was over and they were living in the real world now, where people actually tried their best to right the wrongs. If she only knew he had never hated her, not even when they were kids and that he only had been harsh on her because he fancied her and she kept on telling he was brainless.  
She had broke his heart for the very first time and he was sure she was going to doing that again.  
But, he had to give it a shot. If not for her, at least for himself.

“Why around the ankle?”

“Sorry?”

“The tattoo. People usually write sentences on their arms, or on the back. Why the ankle?”

“Because **feet are what keep you standing. Love is what keeps you from falling.”**

“I’m sorry, what?” She left out a small laugh and put up a look on her face of a person who’s thinking about the past. That tattoo clearly had a history behind it and Finn was desperate to know it. 

“That was what my grandpa used to say. We were very close so, I had it tattooed around the ankle, when he passed away.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Nah, it’s fine, don’t worry. Actually, this is the first time I talk about him and I don’t cry or hide myself.” They smiled at each other, without hiding, this time. They locked their eyes for a few seconds but it felt like they shared their souls and their deepest secrets and memories. They had so much in common and they didn’t even know.  
The way Finn was making her feel about her grandpa was the same way she had made him feel just a few hours before, talking about his nan.  
It was like they were linked by an invisible wire, they were made of the same essence.

“What does it say?”

“Love always corrects the chaos.”

“Pretty romantic, uh?”

“Yeah, I guess you can say I got that from him. He was the sweetest of men. He didn’t say much but, when he talked, he said some pretty cool stuff.”

“I bet. But…” Finn got closer to the tattoo, trying not to come too close to her but she smiled at him and she step forward so that he, by getting on his knees, could have touched it. Finn swallowed as his fingers touched her skin and she quivered a bit. They were both aware of the feelings they were giving each other. 

“What?”

“I mean, about what you, well he, said… shouldn’t love make you falling?”

“You know, I said the exact same thing but he answered that **love keeps you alive and safe. If you’re falling, if you feel like you’re loosing yourself, then it’s not love. It’s just pain. And love is never pain.** While still touching the tattoo, Finn felt like he was talking to his nan all over again. Those words, the charisma, the passion, sounded a lot like the words his nan used to say to him and his dad, through the years.  
He tried to regain stability and got up, this time, clearly standing very close to Rae.

“So, why the flowers around it?”

“Oh, my grandpa was a florist. He had always been intrigued by nature from what I know and he particularly loved daisies.”

“They were my nan favorite flowers, too.” Rae smiled as Finn talked so lovingly about his grandmother. He had always been around dickheads when it came down to boys but Finn was different. Sure when he was a kid he was a bit of a knobhead but, what kid isn’t, really? It wasn’t like she was acting that gently around him, although it was only because she fancied him as they were kids and he always had something to say about her spending time picking up flowers. 

“You really are a surprise Marlon, you know that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that… I’ve never met a guy like you. Basically I have always thought guys were all morons and a waste of my time but you, you are seriously helping me re-evaluate them.”

“Glad to help, tulip.” As soon as he gave her that nickname, the smile on her face faded away and she rolled her eyes at him, putting her hands on the sides on her hips, trying to gain some seriousness. 

“Enough with the tulip thing, I hate it as much as I hated it back then.”

“Well, I need to find you a nickname, don’t I?”

“Why would you do that?”

“Marlon? Really?” She relaxed a bit and smiled at him, knowing she was guilt as charged. It wasn’t like she was offending him, though. Marlon Brando was a fucking sex symbol, why didn’t he want to be called like that?  
“At least tulip is a reminder of our childhood together.”

“Oh, because there’s so much to remember about that. We were always picking at each other, grumpy sod.” 

They went on and on like that for another hour but they knew they weren’t actually fighting. They were just being themselves and it seemed like a revelation, to both of them. To find someone to just talk to about anything, for hours, and not knowing that the time is actually passing.  
After a bit, they just sat on the bed and kept on going on for another twenty minutes, without really thinking about the party downstairs. They were having their own party right there, in that moment.  
As she kept on talking about anything and teased him as frequently as she could, Finn realized he couldn’t have gone along with having her just as a friend and that maybe he needed to make things clear but, who was he to spoil this relationship, this friendship, that was arising form the ashes of a damaged childhood?  
So, he just stood there, listening to her talking and quoting from time to time his grandpa as he did the same with his nan and, for the first time, he laughed, he really laughed thinking about her. She was finally able to remember her for the great and funny woman that she had always been and, that, was all Rae’s. 

“Can you imagine if we had grown up together? We may have been friends all this time.”

“We would not. We would have fought every bloody day and our parents would have gone mad.”

“I’m not sure about that… tulip!” She stood up from the bed and punched him on the shoulder, making him complaining about the pain but he really wasn’t in any.  
“Alright, that was the last time, I swear.”

“You don’t want to mess with me, Marlon. I’m going to take you down.” He wished for a moment that it could have just been a joke but she was already taking him down, without even realizing it.  
“Oh God, it’s almost 11 PM, shouldn’t we getting going?”

“This is my place.”

“No, I meant downstairs, you dickhead.”

“I don’t feel like it. Plus, they’re probably just dancing and it’s not really my field. Not anymore.”

“A girl broke your heart on the dance floor, didn’t she?”

“No, it wasn’t like that. It was just that… I used to dance with my nan every birthday and, since she’s gone, I don’t feel like doing it.” Rae nodded and she immediately felt bad about joking about something so serious, even if she couldn’t be to blame. She had no idea who this guy standing in front of her, really was.  
She looked over him and spotted the album she had got him for his birthday on the desk and she went to pick it up, just to turn and face him again, after a moment.

“Do you have a record player, in here?”

“I do but what… oh no, you wanna dance with me?”

“Well, don’t sound that grossed out, Marlon. It’s not very polite, is it?”

“Are you ever going to stop using my own words against me?”

“I don’t think so, no.” She smiled at Finn and he smiled back, knowing he was already defeated before the game was even started.  
“So, where is this record player?”

“Right behind you.” She turned around and went to put the album in and pressed play. However, she didn’t let it play the first song or a random one with the shuffle button. She was searching for the perfect song and when the first notes of ‘Exit wounds’ filled the room, she knew she had found it.  
She turned around to face Finn to find him still standing at the center of the room.  
He was pretty confused by Rae’s actions but he was pretty excited about dancing with her and he was trying everything to deny it.  
“Do you know how to dance, at least?”

“I am the best dancer you will ever come in contact with, grumpy sod. Now, come a little closer, I won’t bite you.” If Finn didn’t know Rae was a lesbian, he would have thought she was trying to seduce him with the excuse of this dancing thing but, for once it wasn’t the case. They were two friends dancing and she was doing a nice thing for him. He just needed to accept they weren’t going to be anything more.  
He got closer and, as their bodies touched, the air thickened in the room.  
If anyone, would have entered the room, he would have assumed they were a couple, sharing the most intimate moment. Rae’s head was resting on Finn’s shoulder but, despite Finn’s will, she was acting like a friend. Finn’s arms were around her waist and he was desperately trying to control himself around her.  
She had probably picked that song because it was the right one, to let him remember his nan, to cry for her but not crying on alone. Just like his nan usually said, **crying for someone is sadness, crying on someone is sharing.**  
And, as always, she had been right.  
“So, what’s the long story behind the album?”

“Ehm, my aunt used to live in Ireland and she moved back here 5 years ago. She always loved music and she was obsessed with this group. My nan and I started to listen to them, together and she loved them. She said this album was basically telling the story of her youth and when she passed away, I hold on to it, you know? It was like having a piece of her still around.”

“You really are a good person, Finn.” He freed her from his hug and looked at her, quite shocked and amused.

“No way, did you just called me Finn? I am impressed, so you do know my name!”

“Shut up and keep going… Marlon!”

“Oh damn, I should have stayed quiet.” They both smiled at each other and he grimaced before going back to dance with her, putting his arms back to where they belonged.  
“Anyway… like I said, I really cared about that album but one day I… well, I destroyed it.”

“How did you destroy a CD?”

“I was in a bad mood and I fouled up my room, breaking it. I got even more mad and I cried for like a week. I tried to buy it back but no one was selling it. They said it was too old. Where did you find it?”

“It was mine, I didn’t buy it. I thought you could like the tracks since it’s one of my favorite albums and we have the same taste in music so, I gave it to you.” Finn didn’t know what he should have done or said, all he knew was that he wanted to kiss this girl, dancing in his arms. Being with her felt so natural and he thought, right there, in that moment, that if he could have chosen something, he would have chosen to keep her like that, forever.

“It was really nice of you, Rae, you didn’t have to but, thank you.”

“I guess I’ll just pop by when I want to listen to it.”

“You can pop by anytime you like.” He had never opened up to someone as he had done with her, in his entire life.  
Sure, his nan knew all about him but, it was different. She was family and, family, is supposed to know everything. He didn’t get to choose his own family but, with Rae, he had had the chance to chose her, to reveal some things of his past and she had understood. She had been there for him and they had been through the same things.  
And now, there they were, as if they were meant to be. There was no way they were meant to be just friends.  
“I’m sure Emma is wondering where did you get to.”

“Oh, she left long time ago. She would have killed me if I had been up here with you all this time with her being downstairs.” She laughed but he wasn’t exactly happy about what she had just admitted. Sure, she had come to find him but just when her girlfriend had left.  
What was he expecting? Of course, she wouldn’t have left at a party, her girlfriend alone, to go finding some stranger. Why did he have thought any different?

“Why? It’s not like she could be jealous or something.”

“That’s what I keep telling her but, that’s just the way that she is. She’s jealous of guys.”

“It’s ridiculous, if you ask me. You’re a lesbian, you’re with her, she should give you more credit.”

“Right? God, someone who finally understands. But, well, to be perfectly clear, I am bi.”

“I’m sorry… you’re what?”

“I am bi, I like girls but I like boys, too.” The song had been over for a minute or two but they had just kept dancing and sharing until the big confession came out. Finn wasn’t sure he had heard correctly but he wished with all his heart, he did. She liked guys. She liked guys, too.  
The crack he had been searching for all day, was finally there. She liked guys, too.  
He wanted to say something, he wanted to do something but he just stood there, looking at her.  
“So what, you didn’t have a problem with me when you thought I was a lesbian but you do know that I like guys?”

“What? No, no, it’s not a problem at all. I just… didn’t know. You can like whoever you want, Rae, I don’t care about that.”

“So, this thing, that I’m bi, it doesn’t affect you at all?”

“Why should it affect me?”

“Emma and I we’re fighting over this since, I don’t know… forever? She says I could leave her for a guy and she wouldn’t stand it.”

“I think she should just believe in you and your love. And if you do break up, the least she should be worrying about is if you cheat on her with a girl or a guy. But… that is just my opinion.”

“Huh… like I said. A constant surprise, Marlon.”

They stood there, looking at each other and Finn could have sworn she was looking at him in a total different way. Or maybe, that was just what he wanted to think. Now, he really had a chance. He just needed to break through her heart and her relationship with Emma, which, shouldn’t have been that easy to do. Sure, there were cracks in their relationship but they had been together for two years, they were sharing a pretty special bond and he was just the guy who had thrown her in a pond when she was five. 

“I think I should get going now, it’s a bit late. But, it was nice… spending time together.”

“Yeah, it really was.” She went for the door but before opening it, she turned around once more, with a grimace on her face.

“Oh, and if by any chance you get mad, make sure my album is safe, right?”

“Don’t worry, I will protect it at any costs.”

“Night, Marlon. And, happy birthday again.” She got out of the room and he stepped back and sat on the bed. His eyes wandered around the room, where everything had happened and he suddenly felt happy about something in a very long time.  
They stopped on the little white piece of paper Rae had written him for his birthday and, he collected it to read it.

_Happy birthday, Marlon._  
_I hope you didn’t get into much trouble to organize this party just to get to know me._  
_You should hope there won’t be any mud near by or I will get my revenge._  
_Rae._

And there it was again. Her being sassy and the sarcasm he loved about her.  
If there only was something he didn’t love about her, already.

 

\- - - 

 

He had tried with everything in him to get some sleep but, how could he sleep when his head had been screaming Rae’s name all night long? Ten minutes after she had gone home, Finn had come down to apologize to his friends, he really had been the worst host ever but they all seemed pretty comfortable and no one was mad at him. They were just happy he got out from his shell for one night, even if it had been for a girl. Chloe was obviously jealous but Finn didn’t even worry about that. He saw that as an opportunity to finally let her understand he wasn’t interested in her and, weirdly enough, she seemed to get it.  
The gang left around 1AM and Gary and Finn cleaned up a bit before going to sleep.  
The next day was going to be a rough one on both of them, and they needed to rest but Finn just couldn’t let Rae out of his mind.  
It was like a drug and he wasn’t sure he wanted to get rid of it.

As the light came into his room, he got up and, just like the two years before that one, he wrote a letter. The letter. He wasn’t sure about what writing this time but he could have finally written some happy and quiet stuff, instead of the usual tearful and depressive card he used to write to his nan.

_Dear nan,_  
_I am always unsure about what to write to you and I don’t know why, really. We used to write to each other all the times when you were_ _here but, I guess this is different, isn’t it? You’re not here to tell me if I’ve made grammatical mistakes._  
_I guess I’ll just try not to make them anymore._  
_Life around here is pretty lame as usual but, this time, there’s something new I want to talk to you about._  
_Her name is Rae, and she’s just the most magical person I’ve ever encountered. After you, of course._  
_I feel like I can talk to her about anything and she doesn’t judge me at all. She just listens and she understands._  
_I feel lucky. For the first time, in a long time, I feel lucky._  
_If you could just be here, I’m sure you would like her just as much as I like her._  
_It’s like you said: when it’s love you know it. And, I think I do. I think I am in love for the first time. She moves me, she changes me, she_ _challenges me._  
_But, you do know her, we used to play together when we were little and I remember you liking her. So, there, like I said, you would totally_ _like her._

_I hope you’re okay up there, I wish you could tell me what it’s like._  
_I miss you everyday, but it hurts a little less, I guess._  
_Thanks to you know who._  
_Dad misses you as well, and so does aunt Maxine._  
_Love you, nan._  
_Your nugget,_  
_Finn._

He didn’t know why he had to write a letter when he could just go to his grave and talk to her but, he had always thought he would have just ended up crying and wouldn’t have said all the important stuff she needed to know.  
He grabbed a piece of Linda’s carrot cake and got out, leather jacket in one hand, helmet in the other.  
He turned on the engine and he was ready to go, when someone called his name from across the road. Rae called out for him. He swallowed and his heart almost left his chest, she was even more beautiful than the previous evening.  
He got down form his scooter and approached her. Her hair was gathered in a pony tail and she was wearing an Oasis T-Shirt and a pair of blue jeans. She was perfect. In her normality, she was even more perfect.

“Hey Rae. What are you doing up so early?”

“Could ask you the same thing.”

“Always dodging the bullet, uh? I’m going to see my nan. At the cemetery, I mean.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that. Well, say ‘hi’ for me to her, would you?” Finn had always hated when someone would come with him, visiting his nan, even his father but, that day, he wanted nothing more than having Rae by his side.

“Why don’t you come with me?”

“I don’t know… I don’t want to disturb you.”

“I am asking, aren’t I?” She smiled at him and followed him, back to his scooter. Rae had made sure she had dodged his question because she couldn’t have said she had actually stayed up all night, thinking about their conversations, or she would have sounded desperate. Especially not after telling him she was bi. She would have just seemed like a pervert. Plus, she had a girlfriend and she loved her. She definitely loved her. But Finn… Finn was something else. Someone else.

As they arrived at the cemetery Finn automatically thought that he couldn’t have read that letter out loud. Not with Rae around. He should have been strong that time, he needed to be strong. He just needed to change some words and he would have come back for telling the all truth.  
As they approached Rachel’s grave, Rae picked up a daisy from the ground and put it next to the photo on the grave. 

“She was as beautiful as I remembered her.”

“She was absolutely stunning, yes.” Finn loved the way he could talk to Rae about anything but mostly, he loved that Rae knew the real Rachel, the real woman his nan was.  
“Now, would you mind if I read something?”

“No, of course not. I can go away, if you want.” Finn thought about it for a second but he needed her close. He wanted her close. He had always talked to his nan on his own but, since Rae had appeared in his life, he felt like doing things without her was not really doing them. 

“No. Stay.” She took his hand into hers and he started reading the letter, careful not to mention her at all. 

_Dear nan,_  
_I am always unsure about what to write to you and I don’t know why, really. We used to write to each other all the times when you were_ _here but, I guess this is different, isn’t it? You’re not here to tell me I’ve made grammatical mistakes._  
_I guess I’ll just try not to make them anymore._  
_Life around here is pretty lame as usual but, this time, there’s something new I want to talk to you about._  
_I have found this great cooking class online, in Florence and I am desperately trying to convince dad to send me over there but he says,_ _as always, that he doesn’t have the money. I did everything in my power, I got excellent grades at school but, I am just afraid he’s_ _scared of loosing me like he lost mum and you and, that is why he doesn’t want to send me off._

_I hope you’re okay up there, I wish you could tell me what it’s like._  
_I miss you everyday, but it hurts a little less, I guess._  
_Dad misses you as well, and so does aunt Maxine._  
_Love you, nan._  
_Your nugget,_  
_Finn._

“You want to go Italy… nugget?”

“Oh God, I knew it would have stuck. I hated it back then but, now that she’s not around anymore, I miss being someone’s nugget.”

“Does that mean I can call you nugget?”

“I think Marlon it’s enough, thank you. But, in answer to your question, yes, I do want to go to Italy. To cook.”

“You know, everyone is so confident about your skills I can’t wait to taste a meal of yours. You’ll have to invite me over, sometime.”

“Mi casa es su casa.” 

“That’s Spanish, not Italian.” 

“You could pretend to appreciate the effort. It would be polite.”

“Such a grumpy sod.”

Finn wasn’t sure he should have flirted on his nan’s grave but he was positive his nan was happy about it. For the first time, he thought she could actually be happy from wherever she was. Maybe because he was finally seeing the light after the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

It had just been less than a month since Rae had reappeared in Finn’s life.  
If someone would have told him, on the day of his 20th birthday, that the girl who had made him go crazy when he was only six, would have come back and destroyed his life again, for the better or for the worse, he wasn’t really sure about which one was more appropriate, he would have called them crazy.  
But, truth was, they would have been spot on.  
Since that great talk at his birthday party and the following ride to the cemetery, where she had hold his hand while reading his letter to his nan, they had developed quite the relationship.  
They had had several moments after that day and Finn couldn’t believe how connected and similar Rae and him were. Sure, he had felt something on his birthday but he would have never guessed he would have found such an amazing person in her. She wasn’t just any girl, she talked and acted like a proper woman and he had never thought he would need someone like her, until his eyes met hers.  
Sure, at first sight, she had been totally rude and grumpy but, after knowing each other, they had decided to bury the hatchet and to never talk about their childhood together. 

In the first week, Finn had taken Rae to meet his gang at the pub and they all seemed pretty excited to meet her, since she was all Finn could talk about.  
Chop, of course, didn’t miss his chance of pointing that out, making Finn blush right in front of Rae but she had decided to play dumb, saying that they were just friends.  
Although Finn had hated Chop, in a first moment, he did want to know where she and him were standing. Yes, she had a girlfriend and yes, they seemed pretty in love with each other but, now that Emma was off to London for three weeks for her Uni exams, they had spent an entire week together, talking about pretty much everything and he was going crazy, not being able to hold her hand or kiss her when, he really didn’t want to do anything else.  
Rae, on the other hand, was extremely good at keeping her feelings inside.  
Every time they were on their own, Finn had felt like it was the time to do the big step. It didn’t matter if she had a girlfriend, he needed her. He needed to feel close to her and then, they would have gone from there. But, it was like she had a radar or something: every time he was about to do something, anything really, she started talking about Emma and how much they loved each other.

One day, Linda and her husband Karim had gone out for lunch at Mae’s and Gary was at work, finishing a new budget plan for the restaurant, therefore Finn and Rae had decided to spend the afternoon together at her place.  
Once he entered her bedroom, he got captured by how much her room didn’t represent her at all. Everything was pink and rainbows. It wasn’t like she was a dark person but she definitely wasn’t that one either.  
Finn widened his eyes three times in less than a minute, every time he discovered something that didn’t belong to the Rae he knew. 

“Do you have a tic or something?”

“What? No, I do not… I don’t have a tic.”

“Then why are you looking at my bedroom like it has bugs all over it?” Rae let out a laugh while talking, trying to sound less angry than she actually was. She didn’t like people snooping through her stuff and her space but, with Finn, it was different. It was like she wanted his support, like she actually needed it. 

“No, it’s just… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I like it.”

“No, you hate it. Tell me why.”

“It’s just… it’s not how I had pictured your bedroom in my head, that’s all.”

“Why did you picture my bedroom in your head in the first place, Marlon?” Finn couldn’t help but swallowing hard and dragging his eyes all over her curves. He just knew that when she called him Marlon she was just teasing him and she wasn’t really mad. She was beautiful that day: she was wearing just a Stone Roses grey top, a pair of skinny jeans and red Converse but she was stunning.  
Since they had been just the two of them, she had showed her true colours. She wasn’t exactly the kind of girl who wears a sexy dress or, any dress, really.  
The only time she had let herself look more provocative, it had been on Finn’s birthday but that was because Emma had insisted that she would wear one. 

“Well, b-because you’re my friend and I think about you sometimes.” Rae thought he really needed to improve his lying skills but, on a second thought, it was better that way. He would have never lied to her about anything and she felt happy about it. It had just been two weeks but Finn was already really special for her.

“Right… and how did you picture it?”

“Well, just a little more… a little more…” He really didn’t want to sound pretentious, least of all with her, but he had the weird feeling that Emma had pushed her way through Rae’s true desires and convinced her to live in some kind of Barbie palace. 

“Do I really need to get those words out from you? A little more what?”

“A little more you.”

“What are you talking about? It’s my bedroom, of course it’s me.”

“If you say so…” Finn did try to change their conversation but Rae wasn’t going to have it. 

“You haven’t known me that long to presume that you actually know me.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were a fan of Ken, my bad.” Finn knew they were going to have a fight but he was trying to smooth the situation since he wanted everything but arguing with the girl he was ‘not so secretly’ in love with. 

“Are you making fun of me, now? Wow, classy.”

“It was just a joke, relax.” Everything was falling out of his hand but, all of a sudden, he felt like they needed that fight. He needed to figure some stuff out and he hated that she didn’t trust him enough to tell him the all truth about Emma.  
She had seemed possessive since the first time he had spotted her on her driveway and, apparently, he had been right.

“Oh now, you wanna tell me whether I should relax or get angry? Who do you think you are?”

“Why are we fighting again?”

“Because you’re a dickhead, that’s why.”

“Oh, I am the dickhead? You’re the one who lets her precious girlfriend decide which colour her bedroom should look like.”

“I think you should leave. NOW.”

“Look, I didn’t mean to sound…”

“Like an asshole? But you did… and, for the record, I love pink. Now, you know where the exit is.” 

“Can’t we just talk like grownups, please?”

“Oh, I would but I don’t see any grownups here. Now, go!” She pointed at her door with her finger and he couldn’t do anything else but leave.

It had been the first time they had been in a fight and Finn was regretting it since the second it had happened. Sure, he wanted to know where they stood but he didn’t want to loose her in the process. He loved her, he needed her in his life and, if all he could have was her friendship, he would have settled with that. 

He was already halfway through his place when Rae called for him. She had been clearly running down her stairs to catch up with him before he could get home and once they were facing each other, his lips inches away from hers, everything changed, especially for Rae. She was great at hiding but, this time, with this guy, she wasn’t sure she could have managed it for a very long time.

“I’m sorry about earlier, really. I don’t know why I said what I said.”

“It’s fine, I didn’t want to fight either. You’re the first person I really feel like I can talk to about anything and, I don’t want to loose what we have.”

“We won’t loose anything, tulip.”

“On a second thought, you can leave now, I don’t even really care and…”

“Just shut up.” He put his arm around her waist and brought her close, taking her in, for as long as he could. It should have been just a friendly hug, just two people who care about each other, clearing their things out but, on both of their sides, that hug meant something else.  
As much as she tried to hide her feelings for him, as much as she wasn’t sure what those feelings were about, she just couldn’t tear herself away from him, from his grip, from his presence. She needed Finn in her life just like he needed her.  
As she put her arms on his back, tightening the embrace, he felt goosebumps all over his body and he rested his head on her shoulder, trying to find some balance without necessarily falling apart. He could smell her perfume and she could do the same and, in that exact moment, she realized what he was for her. He was her person, he was the one made for her.  
Her grandfather Finn had been right: **when it’s love you know it.**  
Naturally, she couldn’t even think about breaking up with Emma, after everything she had done for her and, despite the love she was now feeling for Finn, she still cared deeply about her.  
Rae had always thought she had found love with Emma and, for the time they had spent together, she had really cared for her but, now that she had met Finn, she had realized what real love was.  
If having Finn in her life meant she should have settled with his friendship, she would have gone for that.

\- - - 

“Son, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Shouldn’t you be down at the restaurant by now?”

“Yeah, I was just checking on you. You haven’t been yourself this past week.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”

Since Finn and Rae had had their first fight, they had been texting each other, talking like friends but, they had never saw each other again. And it had already passed a week. It seems strange how two neighbours can go a day without bumping into each other but a week, it’s just odd. It felt like they were avoiding each other on purpose but, the truth was, Rae couldn’t exactly be with him, since Emma had returned from her university session. They were pretty much inseparable and, the only few times, Finn had spotted Rae through his window, he had caught them kissing and holding hands.  
The distance was killing them both and Finn was thinking about the worst. Maybe, she had just pretended to fix things between them. Maybe she was still upset about what he had said, maybe she was searching for the right way to say that she didn’t want to deal with him ever again.  
He was just desperate about not seeing her anymore and classes were about to start for him, too. He couldn’t think about eating or sleeping, let alone studying or cooking.  
Rae was destroying his life and he needed to get back on track but he hadn’t the clueless idea on how to do it. And, listening to the album she had gave him for his birthday, wasn’t certainly helping him. 

Gary smiled at his son and got out. It was already 6PM and he was definitely going to be late but, since Finn and Rae hadn’t seen each other, both of their parents had been over the edge. They just couldn’t understand what had happened between them, since either of them wanted to talk about it and they were hurting a little because all they ever wanted was for them to be friends. 

It took all of Finn’s strength to get up from his bed and going to the kitchen. He needed to do something, to stop thinking about Rae and her perfect life, which clearly didn’t include him anymore.  
Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. He wasn’t exactly sure about what he was cooking and, the doorbell ringing, surely saved him from making a disaster.  
He turned off the flame and went to open, to find Rae on the door step.  
He wasn’t sure if he should have acted surprised or just mad but, really, he was just the happiest of men.  
Rae, however was everything but happy: she was completely wet, like she had been the survivor of a storm and she was freezing.

“What the hell happened to you?”

“That house is haunted, I am telling you. Someone… something broke the shower and, on top of that, there’s no hot water, either. So, well, this is the result.” Finn tried to suffocate a laugh, but he didn’t manage to hide it for very long. Rae widened her eyes at him and put her hands on her hips, trying to seem angry with him but she burst out of laughter right away.  
“Can you help me out, please?”

“I’m not actually a plumber, Rae. You could come in and I could make you a soup.”

“Well, if you insist. I still have to try your famous culinary skills, anyway.” She stepped in and Finn gave her his flannel shirt, just to make sure she didn’t freeze.  
“Can I… go to the bathroom for a moment?”

“Of course and, you can step out of those wet clothes if you want. Just go to my room and put something dry on. I’ll just put the soup on.” 

“Thank you, Finn.” She gave him a soft smile and her eyes tried to apologize for her behaviour in the past week but Finn wanted to talk. He knew she was sorry but that wasn’t quite enough.  
Having her in his house, again, was great but they needed to sort some things out. She couldn’t have him in her life just when she fancied it the most and then leave him on the bleachers whenever her girlfriend came by.  
Friendship doesn’t work one way around.

He put whatever he was cooking before aside, not that he was doing anything in particular really, and he started preparing his famous tomato soup with grilled cheese. His nan used to go crazy for it and it was the very first dish for which she had suggested he tried out the cooking career.  
To prepare the soup it could have took him about two hours but that was what the grilled cheese was about.  
And, by preparing that, he would have had her all by himself for the all night.  
He put on a pot with water, carrots, celery, onions, a little tomato and a stock cube for the vegetable broth.

By the time, the broth was ready, Rae had returned in the kitchen, dressed in Finn’s clothes. Once he spotted her, he couldn’t help but think that he would have wanted to see her like that, in his clothes, in his space, for the rest of his life.  
But they were just friends and there was nothing he could have done.

“Everything okay up there?”

“Yeah, thank you for the help, I was struggling.”

“Yeah, I could see that. So, for the soup it will take me about two hours, but, in the meantime I’m making you something else.”

“Oh that’s okay. I mean, I can wait for both of them. I’m not that hungry anyway.” Their eyes locked for a brief moment as she made her way to the counter, sitting on the first chair she could find. Her hair was still wet and it was laying on her shoulders, more brightly than usual. She seemed like one of the finest painting Finn had ever seen. The finest one.  
“So, what do you have in store for me, Marlon?”

“Grilled cheese and tomato soup. Simple but good.”

“I like it. It smells delicious, by the way.” Finn looked at her, while she smiled at him and, he knew right away, she had something to ask of him. He raised his eyebrows at her, thinking that would have been enough but she played dumb like always and turned her eyes to the pot.

“So, what do you want to ask me, Rae?”

“Nothing… why do you think I want to ask you something?” He raised his eyebrows again but this time she couldn’t pretend she hadn’t caught him.  
“Fine…. I do have something to ask you but, it’s not that big of a deal, really.”

“Spit it out, then.” Rae stood there, thinking cautiously about what words she wanted to use while he took out of the fridge 4 tomatoes and a bit of tomato paste for the soup. He was still making a puree out of the tomatoes when she finally started talking.

“So, I was thinking… that we could have, like a dinner with Emma. And, maybe you could ask Archie to come along, too.”

“Ehm, sure, why not? Why were you so worried about this?”

“I wasn’t…”

“Yes, you were. I do know you, Rae.”

“The thing is.. well, I might have said to Emma that… well, you know how she’s jealous of us right? Our friendship I mean?”

“Oh, so that’s why you went MIA for the past week?”

“I know… I have been a really shitty friend. I did miss you, by the way.”

“Don’t try to buy me with your love, Rae. Just say what you need to say.” She stood up from the chair and started going around the room, faking her interest in the recipe Finn was making for her.  
As he put in the blender the vegetable broth, olive oil, tomato paste, red wine vinegar, and sugar along with the tomato puree, Rae got closer to him and smiled at him before talking again.

“Well, I might have told her you are… gay.” As her words left her mouth, Finn made unwillingly fall over the counter the blender until it reached the ground, making Rae jump back and Finn turn to her.

“I’m sorry, you told her WHAT?”

“Look, she was loosing her shit and I thought that, if she knew you were gay, she would have been okay with us hanging out and all.”

“But, you’re missing the fact that I’m not into guys. I’m very known to fancy girls.”

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that. She’s afraid I’m going to leave her for the all ‘bi’ thing and, since you’re… well, you, she’s jealous.”

“What does it mean ‘since I am me’?”

“Well, you know… you’re… moderately good looking.” No one had ever called him ‘moderately good looking’ but, somehow, he liked that definition of him, more than ‘hottie’ or ‘sexiest lad ever’. It was so cute and shy. It was so Rae.  
He smiled at her and she looked away, afraid he would have seen her blush.  
Finn was making her weak, was making her feel things she didn’t want to feel for him. Things she couldn’t feel for him, because of her status.  
And yet, there she was, in his house, making inappropriate comments about his looks.  
“Thank God that was closed otherwise, we wouldn’t be eating anything tonight.” As they went on talking, Finn hadn’t recollect the blender from the ground and now Rae was using it to avoid the awkward conversation, she really couldn’t have with him. 

“Yeah, thank God. Anyway… about what we were talking about… the dinner…”

“The dinner, right. Will you do it?”

“That’s why you need Archie to be there I suppose.”

“Yeah, I might have mentioned her… he’s your boyfriend.”

“But, she saw him with Carter at the party.”

“You could always say you’re in an open relationship.”

“An open rel… wow… I went from being single to a relationship with my best friend in a minute.”

“I am really sorry… I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t important for me. For us. She was about to ask me to choose between her and you and, I had to think fast. I didn’t want to loose our friendship.”

“You would have chosen her? Even with the ultimatum?”

“She’s my girlfriend, Finn.”

“She could be the fucking Queen for all I care about. She shouldn’t have a say in your relationships.”

“Look, I didn’t come here to discuss my relationship with Emma. If you don’t want to do it…I’ll have to come up with something else, even if I don’t know what…” As Rae was still standing next to him, Finn tried to finish the soup and, after blending everything together, he put the all thing in the fridge and picked up the necessary for the crème fraîche. As he was mixing the crème with the chopped tarragon, he came up with an idea he always wanted to try.

“I’ll tell you what: I’ll plan this dinner if you cook with me.” Rae let out a laugh and looked back at him waiting for him to laugh as well, but he didn’t. 

“I’m sorry… what now?”

“Cook with me.”

“Yeah, no, I heard you the first time. Usually, when a girl gives you the chance to re-elaborate a sentence, it means something was wrong with the first one.”

“Look, if I can fake being gay for a night, you can certainly cook.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I cannot. The day you’d wanna die, you call me and I’ll make a dish. Anyone really. Until then, I’ll leave the kitchen to you.”

“I’ve always wanted to dare the faith actually.”

“You don’t take ‘no’ for an answer, do you?”

“Nope. But, don’t worry. I’ll help.”

“Oh, now we’re talking. How about you cook and I pass along the ingredients, uh? What do you need for that?” Rae pointed with her index to the crème and opened the kitchen cabinet to get anything he would asked her. He laughed but decided to tease her a little.

“All right, give me a bit of tarragon please.”

“A bit of what?”

“Tarragon, it’s a spice.”

“Yeah, no, I knew that… ehm, but, just to be safe, what does it look like?” He laughed again and shook his head ‘no’ before taking in his hand a little bottle from the counter.

“This is the tarragon, tulip.”

“You know what? Don’t help me, I’ll be happy to cook for you and watch you die.”

“Oh please, you wouldn’t live without me.”

“Oh, I could manage, grumpy sod, don’t you worry. Oh, and by the way, something smells awful in that bowl.”

“It’s not the bowl, it’s that pot over there.” Rae went over to the pot and almost got killed in the process by the smell.

“Jesus Christ, and they say you can cook?”

“It wasn’t an actual meal, dickhead. I was just keeping my hands busy.”

“Well, it seems like a goat died in there, dickhead.”

“Oh, don’t be so melodramatic and come over here. You’re making the crème fraîche.” She widened her eyes to Finn and stepped back, making it very clear she wouldn’t have gotten near that bowl.  
“Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“I don’t really like cooking.”

“That’s why I’m here. Come on…” He extended his arm towards her and she took it, unable to say ‘no’ to him for a very long time. 

Unexpectedly, she had lots of fun, just like Finn had predicted. They finished the crème with a bit of pepper and waited for the soup to be ready, while laughing all the way through it. They knew how to have fun and the kitchen had just become another one of their places.  
Finn couldn’t understand why they weren’t a couple already and Rae tried to keep her distance as much as she could but, when he hugged her, she couldn’t help but smile and hugging him back.  
There was something about being with him that just made her feel special and weak and she had never experienced that in her life.  
Could have she went on going being just friends with him? One week earlier she had thought that yes, she could have but, every time they were together something in her broke and she was lost in him all over again.  
They were eating their soup at the table, the grilled cheese completely out of their minds, when Finn came up with another insane idea.

“You know what we should do?”

“What?”

“We should take dancing classes.”

“Are you trying to kill me tonight? Cooking and dancing?”

“Well, you’re good at it, we danced at my birthday party so, why not?”

“Because my girlfriend already thinks I’m cheating on her, I can just go dancing around with you.”

“But I’m gay!” 

“That, is not an excuse.” And that’s when he did it. He never did the puppy eyes to anyone else but, with Rae, it felt just natural and kind of romantic. She, on other hand, did roll her eyes but, she had been already conquered by those eyes.  
“Why don’t you go dancing with Chloe? She would love to.”

“Yeah, well, she’s not my type.”

“What, skinny, pretty, smart girl, is not your type?”

“I don’t like her like that, that’s all.” Right there, in that moment, Finn just wanted to step out of his chair, grab her and kiss her like in one of those romantic movies her nan loved to watch. One night, they had been alone in the house and Titanic was on TV. Finn had never been the romantic guy but he had a soft spot for that one and his nan used to love it. He remembered her saying once that she had had a kiss just like the one Rose and Jack had shared on the ship and he had laughed at her, being a little disgusted. He didn’t like hearing about his nan past lovers but she said him in all answer **one day you’ll want to have that kiss, too, if the person standing in front of you it’s worth it.**  
And, like always, she had been right. He would have given everything to kiss Rae like Jack had kissed Rose on the Titanic.

“Can I ask you something, Finn?”

“Sure, anything.”

“Do you… ehm, do you like Emma?” He coughed a bit and drank a glass of water before answering. Where was this question coming from?

“What do you mean? Like as a person or as your girlfriend?”

“Well, both I guess.”

“If I can be totally honest, well, she does seem a little bully to me.”

“Bully? Why?”

“When you’re with her, you’re someone else. I almost don’t recognize you. It’s like you’re not the same brave Rae who calls me ‘dickhead’ when I say something wrong. And, I know, she made you paint your room pink, I’m not blind Rae, you hate pink.”

“I do hate pink, why should anyone paint their own room in that colour? It’s disgusting.” 

“Then why did you do it?”

“She does have that effect on me, but she’s no bully. It’s just that, I can’t say ‘no’ to her. She’s my weakness.”

“She shouldn’t. She should be your strength.” Rae didn’t want to talk to Finn about Emma but he was the only one she felt safe with. She needed someone to open up to, someone she could rely on and someone she could talk to, freely and, that was Finn.  
She also hated admitting he had been right. She should have been her strength and she had been for quite some time, after they had met for the first time but, now that he had come around, she couldn’t just look at Emma the way she used to do before. Something in her had cracked the moment her eyes met his and, no matter how hard she tried to change things, she just couldn’t shake him away.

“Well… ehm, thank you for your honesty.”

“Anytime Rae, you know I’m here for you.”

“About that, I wanted to make you a proposition. I’ll come to that dancing lesson if you come with me to a pub up in London, on Wednesday.”

“What’s up in this pub? And, please, don’t say, it’s a lesbian bar. I am already loosing my charm without necessarily going into a pub where no girl will look at me.”

“No, nothing like that, you idiot. There’s a group who does old songs and there’s a tribute to Oasis. I thought we could check it out, if you're up for it.” 

“Why not? It should be interesting.”

“Will you ever say 'no' to me?” He wished he could have been able to do that. He wished that Rae didn’t have that impact on him. That he could live without her, without her friendship because it would have been so much simpler but, one week without her presence had already been enough and he would have said ‘yes’ to anything she would have proposed him, really.  
He didn’t feel like he was being weak, he was just in love and she was his strength.

“Why should I say ‘no’ to Oasis?”

“So, if I'd say it's country music instead of Oasis, would you say ‘no’?” Finn locked his eyes with hers for a moment and he knew what he should have said. He knew what he should have done, to maintain his position of friend with Rae but, he didn’t want to lie to her.

“Well, I guess, if I can fake being gay for you, I could definitely listen to some country, too.”

“Now, who’s dodging the bullet?” He looked back at her again, unable to tell her she was wrong. Dodging her question was the only thing he could do, in order to keep the charade on. If she only knew how beautiful she looked in that exact moment, with her hair still pretty wet and her cheeks blushing thanks to the heat on the fireplace, burning right behind her, she would have probably understood his position.  
He was having dinner with the girl of his dreams and she didn’t have the slightest clue. 

“I’m not dodging anything, Rae.” Rae looked at him and smiled, shaking her head ‘no’. Even if she didn’t mention it out loud, she loved how shy Finn was. He had the looks of a bad boy, of a womanizer but, on the inside, he was the sweetest on guys.  
The first time she had saw him, on her driveway, she had had a complete different opinion of him, no matter the fact that he seemed pretty kind to her. But now that they actually knew a bit of each other, she was realizing she couldn’t have been more wrong, that day.  
“Right… now, while I clean up here, what should we do next?”

“Oh, I’ll help you clean.”

“There’s no way, you’re doing that. You’re a guest so, I clean and you... well, you do whatever you wanna do.” 

“I wanna help you clean up.”

“Well, you can do anything but that… just sit on the couch and, I don’t know. Pick a movie or something.” Rae shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes in all answer but she was delighted by his gallantry.  
All her thoughts about how men were rude and incapable of love had been wiped away by Finn’s acquaintance. 

She went to the couch and picked up the remote control. She wasn’t sure about what she could find on a Sunday night on the TV but, just like it was meant to be, it was an old movie night on BBC two.  
She dropped her mouth as she saw what they were about to broadcast and turn her head to look at Finn.

“You’re not gonna believe this, Marlon.”

“What is it?”

“It’s.. I mean, it’s ‘Last Tango in Paris’. We gotta watch this.”

“What’s so good about it?”

“Marlon.” She did say it with an answering tone but Finn took it as she was just calling him out for not knowing the movie. 

“What?”

“No, I mean… the good thing about it, it’s Marlon… Marlon Brando.” 

“Oh, I finally get to see who I look like then…”

“You have no idea how Brando looks like?”

“I guess not…” Finn did actually know who Brando was and how he looked like but, the chance of watching a movie on his couch, sitting next to Rae after a week of avoidance and misunderstandings, was just too much for him to say ‘no’.

He finished to clean up the kitchen as Rae told him a bit about the movie and in five minutes he was already next to her. It had started raining on the outside and the fireplace wasn’t enough anymore. Rae started shaking, due to his wet hair, and Finn got immediately up to find a plaid for the two of them.  
She smiled at him, without really talking and they started watching the movie; Finn’s back laying on the couch and Rae’s head on his shoulder. 

“Just so you know… I don’t look like him. Not at all.”

“Oh please, you look just like him. You two were separated at birth.”

“I would like to remind you, he’s dead.”

“Well, I didn’t mean literally, dickhead. But, you can't deny there’s quite the resemblance there.” She pointed at his face and then at the screen and, although he didn’t want to admit it, they really looked a lot alike.

“He’s old, he’s like fifty…ish.”

“He was young, too, you know.”

“Well, I am far better than he is…” Rae suffocated a laugh and regained her position, laying her head on his shoulder but Finn caught her hiding it and he tried to play along. He pushed her away from his body and looked at her, pretending to be angry.  
“I’m sorry, are you saying that I’m not better than this Brando dude?”

“Well, he is Brando. He’s like… an idol. A myth.”

“Yeah, and I am Finn Nelson.”

“I do love when you answer yourself, seriously.”

“You told me, less than two hours ago, that I was, and I quote, moderately good looking. Where did that go?” Rae had hoped through the all night that he didn’t bring that up and there they were, talking about that awkward sentence. Why did she have to say that, in the first place?

“I’m not saying you aren’t… just, well he’s… I mean he’s Brando. You can’t be jealous of Marlon Brando.”

“I am not…” Finn felt pretty dumb about that but, he was indeed jealous of Brando. Well, not of him, generally but, of the fact that Rae found him fitter than him.  
He knew he was being ridiculous, every girl had an idol, someone out of her world, someone unreachable. And, maybe, maybe Finn was just too reachable for her to even care about him in that way.

“Look at it like this: if I asked you, is Taylor Swift prettier than I am, what would you say? Honestly, Finn.” Rae hoped he would have answered Taylor Swift, she really hoped that. She needed something to hold against him, something that could make her see him in a different light. She needed to think about him as a friend, she needed to see him as a friend.  
Finn, on the other hand, didn’t want to lie anymore. He loved this girl and he wanted her to be his and no one else’s but, how to break it to her that she didn’t have equals in his eyes?

“Taylor Swift isn’t really my type, Rae.”

“See? Always dodging the bullet.”

“Fine. I think you’re far more pretty than Taylor Swift. Than anyone… really.” His sentence died on his lips but not before Rae could listen to it and open her eyes wide at him. They were entering a path which neither of them could have escaped and she couldn’t go through with it, not right now.

“Well, that’s because you’re my friend and you know well enough not to piss a girl off but, I do know she’s far prettier than I am. And I am okay with that. You should be okay, too. About Brando, I mean.”

“I wasn’t exactly mad about what you said about him. I was just joking… but, about what I said about you….”

“We don’t really need to go there, Finn. It’s late and I need to go home.” He knew she would have cut him off like that but, they really needed to talk about their feelings towards each other. If she didn’t feel the same about him, he would have suffered, yes, but, he would have lived through it. Eventually.  
He just couldn’t keep on going with those doubts.  
He took her by the arm while she was already standing up from the couch and she turned around to face him. 

“I wish we could talk about it for a minute.”

“I think we really shouldn’t.” She escaped his grip and went for the door, locking it right behind her, once she stepped out of his place. She rested her back on it and stood there for a couple of minutes while Finn did the same on the other side of the door. They were physically inches away from each other but, their minds, were clearly linked by their love for each other.


	4. Chapter 4

It was time to concentrate on the coking class but Finn wasn’t sure he could do it. He had tried to shut his mind off for the past two days, since his awkward night with Rae but, it had proven harder than he had thought.   
Sure, the fact that she lived just across the street didn’t help the cause but it wasn’t like he had had any chance of bumping into her. It was like that night had never happened. They were back at avoiding each other, well, more like she was avoiding him and, like he was used to do, Finn was blaming himself.

He didn’t do anything to piss her off but still, he was desperate to recall everything he had done and said to make her run like she did. Things had heated up but not enough to make her run for the hills and, now that he needed to focus on school, he just couldn’t go on with his doubts until she would decide they were good again. 

As he made his way to her place, that Monday morning, that previous month spent in her company flashed before him: all those times she had said ‘no’ to him visiting her, making up the most foolish excuses and, all those times he had pretended to believe them because, it was easier that way.  
He didn’t feel like he actually knew her so he didn’t know what he was going to be up against, once engaged a fight.   
And, then, there were all those times spent at his place, because Emma was at Uni and she was free to hang out with him; all that time talking about their dreams, their interests, the fact that she had chosen English literature and that it was all thanks to her grandfather and that she was happy she had finally found one person to talk to about her family and that he would talk to her about his own, with the same kindness.

One knock.  
No response.

Two and then three knocks and, there she was. Rae.

He wasn’t sure if all people looked that great in the first lights of the day but, one thing was for sure: in that moment, standing there in front of him with one hand on the door and the other one covering her yawn, she was perfect.

As she opened the door, she didn’t even realize it could have been Finn, standing on the other side of it. It was bloody six in the morning, why would anyone knock on someone else’s door at 6 AM?  
Truth was, she had secretly hoped it was Finn but, after the way she had left his house the previous Saturday, she wasn’t sure he would have wanted to talk to her ever again.

And now, there they were, both staring at each other, Rae fixing her robe and Finn checking her out, like he was used to do.

“Finn… what are you doing here?”

“I thought we could… I don’t know… talk.” Just when she spoke, he wasn’t so sure anymore.   
He did want a confrontation, he wanted to know what was going on with them. He wanted to know if she could have ever loved him the way he was already in love with her but, now that she was there, sounding extremely surprised by his showing up at her place, unannounced, he asked himself what he was really doing there.  
She seemed anything but glad to have him there and, despite the fact that he had been the one to make the first step, despite that she should have been the one knocking and knocking on his door, she seemed like she was in the right and he in the wrong. Like all of that had happened didn’t shake her minimally. 

Did they, did he, mean that little to her?  
Sure, it had only been a month but, all he had took for him to fall in love with her was a simple day. A hug. A fucking dance.  
Why couldn’t she see that, too?

“It’s 6 AM, what the hell what do you want to talk about at 6 AM?” Finn tried harder than he could to tear his eyes away from her. Damn it, he was there, making an effort, trying to speak up, trying to figure out what was going on between them and she just treated him like shit?  
Why was he still looking at her after that?  
Why couldn’t he just flee and never talk to her again?  
“I’m sorry… that was a bit rude of me. It’s just… I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

Finn wanted to scream. He wanted to let her know she was lucky to have even got a bit of it, since he hadn’t been able to sleep at all for the past two days.   
But, then again, why would she care about that?

He tried to maintain the conversation on going but, all of the things he had thought about before getting to her door in the first place were gone and he was just a boy, standing on the doorsteps of this girl he was madly in love with.

“Everything’s okay, Finn?”

“Everything is fine, yeah. Sorry to bother you at this time but, I have to leave for school in an hour and I thought that… well, if you were up, we could have talked a little but, it’s okay, I get it. You don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”

He took a good look of her, while she looked at him, desperately trying to maintain the façade, and then turned around to get back to his place.

“Finn, please wait…” He stopped and, for a moment, he felt his breathing getting shorter. She always did that to him and he hoped it would have stopped, one day.  
She closed the door behind her and shook her head to him over her backyard.

As they sat down on her porch swing, they looked into each other’s eyes before actually talking. It was always weird to Rae how they could talk without actually say anything. It was like he could get under her skin, like he could read her and, she had always felt like that, even before she had decided she could have trusted him.

“I know we need to talk about last night, I’m not a fool.”

“Never said you were, Rae…” She raised her hand aloft, begging him to stay silent for a bit.

“Please, let me finish.” He nodded and closed his eyes while laying with his back on the porch swing. Finn, like always, knew that she needed privacy to say what she needed to say. He just hoped she would have spoken the same things he had been thinking about that past month.  
As she looked over to him, to watch him close his eyes, she smiled at herself.  
“You always know what to do to make me feel better. To make me feel safe. No one has ever made me feel so confident about myself. No one.”

Finn’s breathing started getting deeper. He always knew when someone starts off with compliments, it usually doesn’t end well.

“You’re a good guy, Finn but, you’re more than that, really. You’re a good friend and…” Finn couldn’t just sit there and keep on listening to her breaking his heart like it was nothing. He needed to leave and forget all about her.  
She had been in a relationship with someone for the past two years, what was he expecting, really?

“A good friend? Oh God, look, I know where you’re going with this so, we can just drop this and… I just… I’ll better be going.”

Rae got up and tried to stop him but he was too fast for her and, by the time, she made it to the street, he was already back into his own house.  
If he had just let her finish her talking, if he had just waited and listened another minute maybe, maybe everything could have been different.  
But Rae knew, he wouldn’t have believed in another of her words. She needed to act and pretty fast.

She took out of her pocket her phone and dialed for Archie.

“Hey, Rae, a little early even for you, don’t you think?”

“Archie, I need your help.”

 

\--------------------------

 

As the day went on, he should have relaxed, he should have been focusing on his first lesson instead of thinking about how good Rae looked that morning.  
Despite the fact that Gary didn’t want him to go study in Italy, Finn still wanted to keep his grades up and to improve his technique in a desperate hope of his father changing his mind.   
Right now, he wanted nothing more than to leave Birmingham, to leave everything and everyone behind.  
To leave Rae behind.

He couldn’t believe it had all happened in his head; they had been together, sharing things about their past and he knew, even if she didn’t want to admit it, that she was starting to feel something for him, too.  
Sure, it was harder on her, since she had a girlfriend and all but, he just couldn’t understand why she would just deny everything.  
Was she afraid he would have pressed her into breaking up with Emma?  
Did she really know that little of him to believe such a thing?

“Nelson, I believe something is burning in that oven.” Professor Smith brought back Finn to reality and the entire class was now looking at them.  
Professor Smith had never had anything to say to Finn about his cooking skills and now, even though they were feeling bad about thinking this, they were kind of happy Finn had proven to be just a human being like the rest of them.

Finn did everything in his power to save the meal but, it had hopelessly been compromised. 

“I’ll be extra careful next time, sir. I promise.”

“You better be, Nelson. I can watch you waist your talent, alright?”

“Yes sir, I won’t let you down again, I swear.”

“Don’t swear anything just, be focused.” Oliver Smith had always showed a special bond with Finn. He reminded him of himself when he started out cooking and he didn’t want to watch him loosing along the path.  
Finn was incredibly talented and he deserved the best.

As the class ended, professor Smith asked Finn to wait a moment, after the rest of his classmates had said their goodbyes.  
Finn knew this wasn’t going to be a piece of cake but he also knew he needed this. He needed someone who could bring him back to planet Earth, even if that meant get a formal warning.

“So, would you mind telling me what happened earlier?”

“I’m sorry about that, like I said it won’t happen again.”

“It’s not about the fact that you burned something, Finn, it’s just that you were thinking about something else. You never think of anything but cooking when you’re in here.” Right there, in that moment, Finn hoped professor Smith were a friend, because that was what he needed. He wanted to talk about Rae, about their past together, about what she did to him, deeply, intimately but, professor Smith wasn’t the right person and, on top of that, keep talking about her wasn’t going to help him forget about her.

“I made a mistake, sir, that, like I said, it won’t ever happen again.”

“Look, just because I never say anything to you, doesn’t mean that, when you make a mistake, I close my eyes and look elsewhere. You’re just like everyone else in here. You’re nobody, yet, just a student. A good one, for sure but, still, just a student.”

“I’m sorry if I let my personal issues enter this class, it won’t happen again, I promise. I’ll be the best version of myself, you can count of that, sir.”

“Alright then, but, know this: if you want to talk, I am here, alright? I know I am a little too old for you to consider me as your friend but maybe, just maybe, I know something more about life than you do.”

“I’m sure you do, sir but, this isn’t the place or the time to talk about my personal life. Thank you for your time.” 

As Finn left the classroom, he immediately felt bad about they way he had addressed to the professor but, he also knew, he was a kind man and that, their conversation, wouldn’t have affected the rest of his class.  
He hated to give that much of power to Rae, to let her sink his mind, to let her taking control over his life and his actions.   
He couldn’t handle over his life to her, no matter how much she already meant to him.

Despite their encounter previously that morning, had gone terribly wrong, he needed to talk to her again, he needed some sort of closure.  
If she wanted to be just friends, he could have handled it, if not for himself, at least for his father. Linda and him were too close to let his personal issues with Rae to get in the middle on their friendship.  
He needed to be okay with Rae, whatever relationship she would have chosen to have.  
Sure, it wouldn’t have been easy on him but, he needed to act like a man, he needed to step aside and let his dad win something.

Right now though, talking to Rae, seemed just too difficult, too rushed. He needed his friends. His gang. He needed Archie, mostly. His pal, his real friend.  
And, just he had some sort of radar, Archie called Finn just when he needed him the most.

“Archie boy, I was just thinking about you.”

“Well, can’t say I’m flattered. Where you at, mate?”

“Just outside class, why?”

“We’re going somewhere you’ve always wanted to go to.”

“Old Trafford?”

“Yeah, right, because on a Monday afternoon I can take you up to Manchester and give you a ticket to watch United playing. Who do you think I am? Fucking King of bloody England?”

“Just teasing you, Archer. So, where to?”

“One word: paintball.” Finn didn’t answer right away but a huge grin appeared on his face. Too bad Archie didn’t get to see it for himself. 

Even before Rae called him to ask him to help her out with Finn, asking him what she could have arranged to make Finn feel comfortable and to have a private chat with him, he had noticed his best friend was in a really difficult position.  
Since his birthday the previous month, Archie had already spotted Finn checking Rae out but, at first, he thought it was a silly crush.  
But, after she had joined the gang and he had had the chance to chat with her, Archie had realized she was absolutely perfect for his mate.   
Not just because they shared the same taste in, basically, anything, but because of the way Finn was looking constantly at her.  
It was like he had seen an angel, a creature sent to him by some greater God.

Archie and Finn never talked much about Finn’s grandmother but, they had been good friends since he had moved to Birmingham and Archie had had multiple chances of meeting granny Rachel, whom had showed herself as this great woman, someone to look up to.  
He could still vividly remember one conversation they had had, when they were 16.  
Archie and Finn were secretly talking about this guy Archie used to like but he wasn’t sure whether this guy liked him back and, he was afraid of asking him out.  
Finn wasn’t the best with words, although he tried his best to help his friend out but Rachel had shown up, after hearing them talking so privately and she had said **it’s all in the way he looks at you. You take a good look of him, you make sure he knows you like him and you wait. You just wait. If he’s the right person, if you think it could lead somewhere, you’ll know it. You just take a good look of him.**

Unfortunately, Archie did take a good look of him but only to realize he wasn’t gay at all but, one day, when they were all down to the pub, with both Finn and Rae, granny’s words were useful, once again. Finn didn’t know Archie was secretly studying him but Archie saw it: he saw how Finn’s face lightened up every time Rae laughed after a joke, he saw his best friend blushing after Rae looked back at him, far longer than a friend should have done.  
He saw his best friend finally being happy, truly happy.  
How could he have said ‘no’ to Rae when she had called out for his help, basically sobbing over the phone, telling him she needed Finn to hear her out?

“Paintball? Are you kidding me, man? Every time I asked you to go play paintball, you said no. What’s changed?”

“I just feel this could be a great chance for us to have some fun, that’s all. The rest of the gang is going, too. Meet you there in half ‘n hour, okay?”

“Sure, yeah. Text me the address. And… Archie?”

“Yeah, mate?”

“Thanks, I really needed this.” Archie didn’t answer him back but Finn knew he had listened.   
The only thing Archie hoped was that Rae wouldn’t have broken up his best friend’s heart. He really didn’t need another woman walking out of his life.

Finn got out of the building and got on his bike, eager to meet up with his friends.  
 _One afternoon_ , he said to himself, _if I can keep her out of my mind for one afternoon, everything will be easier._  
Naturally, he hadn’t even think about the possibility that, when Archie had mentioned the gang, he had included her, too and, when Finn joined the rest of his friends, he almost paralyzed when he saw her, in all her beauty, wrapped up in a military uniform, talking to Izzy and Chloe.

As he walked closer to his friends, Rae briefly turned her head to Finn, nodded over him and offered him a smile, a sign of reconcile but, she didn’t get one in return.

“Why is she here with us?”

“What do you mean? You brought her up to the pub, now she’s our friend, too.”

“Yeah, and she’s a top missy, our Rae.”

“Our Rae?” Finn whispered to himself, just after Chop had made pretty clear she was going to hang out with them every single time. Not that he actually minded but, his project 'forget about Rae for one day' didn’t seem to go as planned. 

Archie briefly explained the rules and divided them in three teams. Archie and Rae, Finn and Chloe and Izzy and Chop.   
Obviously, everything was arranged so that Rae should have spied on Finn, in order to shoot him with her ‘gun’ and that, would have meant they would have spent much more time together, secretly, than they would have if they were up to be on the same team.

Finn couldn’t exactly understand why Archie hadn’t paired the two of them together but, then again, he didn’t have much time to think about that when Rae was already trying to shoot him from every possible angle.

As he took sight of a shelter, he entered it, trying to gather some ideas, in order to shoot her first.  
He would have never admitted this but, he was enjoying this moment. Being with her still brought him joy, despite of all that was happening between them. Or, better yet, everything that wasn’t happening between them.

After a couple of minutes in that shelter, he adjusted his uniform and took hold of his gun and, he was about to leave the place when Rae opened the door from the outside and pointed the gun to him.  
Finn didn’t have the time to fight back with his weapon and he just put his arms aloft, in sign of defence. 

“Well, well, who do we have here? I was looking for you, Marlon.” Rae had studied his every move and, the only reason she hadn’t entered the shelter earlier, was because she was thinking about how to deal with him in the first place. Flirting? Joking about it? Not bringing the argument up at all?

“Well, sounds like you got me after all.” He was definitely enjoying this moment but no, he shouldn’t have because she had been rude to him all morning. She didn’t want him like that. She wasn’t flirting. It had to be all in his head.  
Still, why was she there with his friends? Why was she still around? And why was she looking the door behind her?

“I figured we could talk a bit. You know, kidnapper to hostage.”

“Is that who I am now? A war prisoner?”

“Oh definitely. My war prisoner. You’re going to be my leverage.”

“And what do you expect to get out of this? Money, weapons?” Finn wasn’t sure why they were flirting talking in code but he loved it. Same as she did.   
She wanted nothing more that to spend time with him, private, intimate time with him but she wasn’t sure she could let go of Emma just like that.

“Happiness.” They locked their eyes together and suddenly they couldn’t handle anymore the thickening air surrounding them. They wanted to be in each other’s arms more than anything else and so, in a split second, she dropped the gun to the ground and he ran for her, wrapping his arms around her waist and locking their lips together, like they were magnets.   
Their world was cooked up in that little wood shelter and, for once, for one brief intense moment, their minds were shut down. They weren’t thinking rationally, they weren’t planning what to do next, they were just living. And, right there, living sounded and seemed just perfect.  
They were definitely running out of air but, it didn’t matter: they just couldn’t tear each other apart and, when Finn took her by surprise, by laying her back to the ground and, they separated for a second, they could literally feel the ache of being ripped in two.  
He took a good look of her again before locking their lips together again, making her moan a little and entwining her fingers right behind his neck, trying to bring him closer to her. Trying to be one.  
As she parted her lips for him, he entered his tongue and, this time, it was his turn to moan. He had been waiting to kiss her, to feel her in his arms, for so long that, right now that was finally happening, he just couldn’t believe how good she felt. How sweet, how heavenly, how perfect she was.

“Finn?”

“Hmm?”

“I feel… I think we should… hmm, I think we should stop now. Before, you know…”

“Right, right… sorry, I was just… I wasn’t thinking.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” Finn scratched the back of his neck as he got up and extended a hand to Rae so she could do the same.   
He kept on looking at her, he just couldn’t believe she had finally realized what he had been thinking about over the past month. Finally, they were on the same page of the same book. A pretty amazing one. 

“What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I want to kiss you again, I just… I feel like I don’t want to do anything else for the rest of my life.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad, does it?” Rae got closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck whilst he repeated the same action, around her waist and, just like before, passion got the best of them, and they were back on kissing.  
If felt like, once they started, they couldn’t be separated anymore. They were stuck with each other, for better or for worse.

“It doesn’t sound bad at all.”

“You know… I was checking you out earlier and…”

“You, were checking me out?”

“Why? Is that so despicable of a girl, checking out her guy?”

“So, I am your guy, now?”

“You’re totally enjoying this, aren’t you?” 

“A man gotta enjoy what his girl gives.” Rae blushed at the sound of those words and she rested her forehead against his, in the most romantic and intimate way.  
Finn wasn’t sure how long that moment would have lasted before the rest of the gang would have arrived and discovered them together but, he just couldn’t let her go.

“I’m sorry about this morning and last night… and last week too, but I just… I was so confused, I didn’t know what to do.”

“Yeah, that’s me, I confuse people, I mean, look at me, I’m totally hot.”

“Epic slice…”

“Epic what?”

“You did not hear that…”

“But I did so…”

“So, let’s pretend you didn’t, shall we?” Finn pulled out his delicious puppy face and Rae just couldn’t resist it. She tried to kiss away his question but Finn, unwillingly, tore him away from her, raising his eyebrows at her.  
“Urgh… you’re impossible. I just said ‘epic slice’ that’s all.”

“Epic slice uh… of what?”

“Pizza…”

“I am an epic slice of pizza?”

“And you should be damn proud, pizza is like the most delicious thing in the all world and me, comparing you to an epic slice of pizza is like…” Finn just found her too adorable when she started babbling about pretty much anything that could come up to her mind and she shut her down with the most passionate kiss he could think of.  
“Just to be clear, you can shut me down every time you feel like it…” And he kissed her again, and again, every time she tried to talk or to start a new argument. Every kiss was deeper, more passionate and challenging than the previous one and, it didn’t leave her much to think about after it.  
“Yeah, on the other hand, you can kiss me like that whenever you want and…” And she got stopped again. It wasn’t that he didn’t like to hear her talking, he just loved more to shut her up with his lips because he felt like they could share something far more intimate than their bodies. They could share minds and thoughts and, all he ever wanted from her was to be one person.   
“You’re not gonna let me talk anymore, are ya?”

“Not if I can avoid it, no.”

“Well, I can’t wait not to talk with you a little more, then.”


End file.
